Note to the bride whose wedding I'm coordinating in May, typed here to get it out of my system so I won't actually email it to her:
Look, my dear child, you are getting married in a
church.
C-H-U-R-C-H. Note that I did not say "wedding chapel." This means that your Special Day is not the only, nor even the most important, event of the weekend in the eyes of the congregation as a whole. This means you need to show a tiny bit of flexibility.
I cannot help that there is a men's breakfast scheduled for the fellowship hall that morning, and that you'd like to decorate the night before for your reception. It is most considerate of them to probably be willing to move it to the parlor so you can do it anyway. So it is VERY unbecoming of you to WHINE that you don't want them in the parlor either because then you'd have to dress in a Sunday School room.
I also cannot help that there are services in the sanctuary and activities in the fellowship hall the next day. C-H-U-R-C-H, remember? Which means I have to enforce the time you're expected to finish your reception and have everyone out the door, because I and other church staff need some turnaround time to get the building back into its ordinary setup.
And last but not at all least, I cannot accurately predict or control how much space will be available in the fridge and freezer because they're not primarily there for bridal convenience. They're there for the Wednesday night dinner for the homeless and anyone else who happens to stop by. Something that we do because we are a
church.
With
ministries.
It's a thing.
Learn to compromise, girl, or find yourself a wedding chapel. And be nice to me. I'm a lot more inclined to make your life easier for you if you are.
What are you watching?
Naked Science's Angry Earth. It was on the National Geographic Channel.
Weren't you paying attention?
What I'm saying... Unless it was zombie buildings. Could be zombies.
Or Susan's bridezilla. Now that scares me.
I feel dirty. I've been watching this past Friday's
Joan of Arcadia
episode, you see, which featured "Special Guest Star Hilary Duff!" My original thought was "Okay, whatever, I survived Paris Hilton guest starring on
Veronica Mars"
and decided to grin and bear it.
But....
I kind of liked her. A good bit, actually. She was really quite good.
It can't be good that I'm now tempted to find episodes of
Lizzie McGuire
on the internet and see if she's always this not!annoying when she's not singing.
I just spent 15 minutes on the shelf above my computer. Before it looked like a precarious mound of junk that might topple over and engulf me at any moment. Now two magazine bins sit on one side, the first holding manila envelopes and mailing labels, the other all my romance industry/market magazines. The binders holding all my conference planning info rest against them. In the center is a neat little stack of boxes, mostly checks and note cards. On the other side is a neat, orderly stack of notebooks and office supplies. Spike and Boromir stand guard over all.
I feel good about myself.
Strength and peace to your family, Sail.
People, people, the cleaning, while impressive? Is making me eye my desk and sewing table with a certain gleam in my eye, which could be dangerous.
"That mess? Swallow you whole. A little shakin', a little tenderizin', and down you go."
Nova! I know -- she was good.
Perhaps we can hope that her sister, who it appears will be in the following episode, will suck eggs? Just to keep the universe in balance, you know.
Anyone got advice on how to hold a nice intervention with my bridezilla before she gets unbearable?
go go cleanin gpeople. one place and one step at a time. While I think some of the flylady's advice is Crazy ( shoes - not til I need em) - but the idea of doing things in 15 minute intervals - or only dealing with what you can put away in an hour - good, good ideas.
as for the bridezilla- she needs a reminder that 's lots of people are geting married on the same day she is. and a reminder that church , it's not just for weddings anymore. But as for real advice, none yet.
Tranq dart.
(Wish I had more/better/useful/actual advice.)
Tranq dart.
Tempting.
Anything to keep me from using a clue-by-four between now and the wedding.
