That is so true! It's like when I'm really trying to stay out of the hospital, half the time I end up going in just because I get myself so worked up about going in.
Much luck to you. Just remember to breathe. You can do it. I have much faith in you.
Thanks, vw bug. It went okay. Scott and I prayed for some peace for me, before I left. When Julia and I got there (we meet in the public library) I really had the fight-or-flight reaction, rapid pulse, wooziness. I grabbed one of the moms and went out in the hall, to tell her, because the terror of making an arse of myself (in panicky ways--that is, different ways from what I do here ;) is part of the trigger. I just flat out told her, "K___, I have anxiety attacks and one is hitting me really hard, right now." Fortunately, this woman I chose to tell (I don't know her well, she was just closest to me and to the hall) also has them. She told me, and then said, "Do you want me to dole out the snacks for you? Do you want me to take Julia home?" I was crying a little (because that's one of my gifts). And I started to feel better.
I made myself stay for the whole time. I sat when I felt the room swaying, and by the end, I was fine, and actually enjoying myself. I was fine enough, that when Julia and I left, we went across town to find Scott, Chris and Ben, at Ben's Pinebox Derby (toy car race), in a crowded hall, with flourescent lights, and stayed the whole time, even though they hadn't been expecting us. Of course now, I want to sleep for a week, but I figured I had to just go, and do. I need a few hey-I-didn't-freak-out outings under my belt, to help fight this thing.
Hey Cindy. I was thinking about what I do to get through a panic attack and I don't think I ever said, one of the things I have to do to get myself out of one quickly is to acknowledge that it's happening, that it will go away soon and that it may feel horrible, but it's causing no damage to my body. The no damage part is really important.
Deena, this is the secret, and what I've always done, before (I've had mild, general anxiety for years and years). The last month or two, it hasn't worked, and I think I got myself in a sort of loop, where one defeat built upon the next. I started having them in places where I'd always been fine, before (my kids' school, the 7-11, etc.). I just don't want to end up unable to leave the house. When it hit me in Dunkin Donuts last week, I suddenly remembered reading one of your posts, in which you'd try to just treat it [paraphrase] like a trip.
Okay,
t /anxiety
vw, now I want meatballs and brownies. I bet the party is an absolute blast. And only a few hours now until you can give her the present!
Mmmm. I want this, too. Badly. vw, have a wonderful party!!!
I want to go to another performance of Phantom of the Opera. Sigh. Went with my dad and my brother last night. A wonderful performance. They had a sub (not even the normal understudy) from Minnesota for the part of Christine and I'm very glad I went. The reviews of the lead actress when the run started weren't so hot. Sarah Lawrence, who sang last night, did an excellent job. And the actor perfoming the Phantom was awesome. Plus, in a wierd coincidence, the woman who sang Carlotta last night was the same one I saw in Toronto nearly 10 years ago. Huh. And, of course, now I'm listening to PotO over and over because I just can't get enough of that darn musical.
ooh, P-C...
Maybe you need to change your sex prerequisite...maybe the LOYL counts on her fingers sometimes.
Not that I'm offering.
But some amazingly sexy women flee The Math
Cindy, I'm glad things went ok. You were really in my thoughts and prayers while I was cooking and baking this morning.
Also, I'm really damned proud of you for sticking things out. Go you!
I wish I understood about panic attacks, because so many cool people I know suffer from them. But I don't understand about them, so all I can do is hope they stop bothering all you amazing people.
Okay, TMI for my comfort level in some ways...but...
Cindy, for what it's worth, the only thing that got me through the really bad panic attack phase of my life was medication. Seriously, I felt weak for taking it until I started thinking about the fact that I thought nothing of taking a pill to help with physical ailments. The anti-anxiety pill would chill me out enough to be able to function--to put a bottom to the hole I was falling into. I only took it when I needed it, but it saved me. A secondary med (I took Zoloft for 18 months) eventually removed the need for the first. I've been off the Zoloft for more than two years, and my doc thinks that it altered enough that I may never need it again. It is a tremendous relief to know, though, that the help is there if I need it.
Thank you, Kristin. I am giving myself a very brief deadline before I call my doc. I am 95% certain this is tied to my cycle, and given the other women in my family who've had the same thing hit at the same age, and that I've taken lousy care of myself for the last 6 months or so, on top of that, I just want to try the taking care of myself thing first, and see if that brings me back down to where I can ride it out.
I do hesitate to take any medicines (even for other, more obviously physical issues--didn't take pain killers except Motrin after I had my babies, don't medicate headaches until my skull is cracking, didn't take the pain meds my dentist prescribed before my root canal) so my hesitation is coming from med aversion, not from any worry of stigma because it's a mental health issue, if that makes any sense.
