Sophia, those are definite triggers sometimes (scent, particularly). Target isn't a great place for me generally, and before Christmas, it happened in Brooks (like CVS--pharmacy chain), but someone took a bath in some cologne, and I got past it quickly enough. But lately it's even happening at Dunkin Donuts and 7-11, and where 7-11 is concerned, I maybe went there a couple of times a week for the last 8 years (for milk, or bread). I feel like I never relax, even when I am doing nothing. I don't know. I just feel like a big, old mess, lately.

I'm trying to imagine the Roman Catholic church selling, say, Chartres.

Also, WRT to SAT scores-- does anyone know when the scoring changed. I know that my score (which I am absurdly proud of (740 verbal, 650 Math) were before the change (I took them around 1990). I was just trying to explain to a college student, you know, that mine were better than hers and she didn't believe me about the change in scale.

Of course, SAT scares mean about jack crap, as I am now a secretary, but still...

They're selling off parish churches here, to pay the legal bills.

Not exactly out of a charitable impulse, though.

Not at all.

Also (((Cindy))). When I was really, really anxious, I tried doing this technique called "meta meditation." Basically, it is making a meditation phrase so ingrained in you that you are doing it on your breath, all the time. I have to say that it seems really stupid to me, but it really worked. I said, over and over again, on an in breath "I choose to be happy" and on an out breath " I choose to be peaceful" The theory is you do this so much that it becomes inconsious and you do it all the time. It did really work for me at that time. Then I went on anti-depressents, and most of my problems seem to now stem from not being anxious enough!

I have to say that it seems really stupid to me, but it really worked. I said, over and over again, on an in breath "I choose to be happy" and on an out breath " I choose to be peaceful" The theory is you do this so much that it becomes inconsious and you do it all the time. It did really work for me at that time.

This makes a lot of sense, Sophia. I will try that.

Then I went on anti-depressents, and most of my problems seem to now stem from not being anxious enough!

I'd like to avoid the a-ds/meds if I can.

Also, WRT to SAT scores-- does anyone know when the scoring changed.

I'm pretty sure it was sometime between when my sister took them and when I did, so between 1994 and 1998, approximately. When I took them, the new scores were reported as "760R" or whatever.

Cindy, the axiety was not what prompted the AD's. My AD of choice just also happens to have anti-axiety properties. The AD's were from he times I would not be able to work because I I would cry so much in the shower that I would just sit down in the tub and bawl, and then not go to work, daily. I am what my doctor calls a "lifer"-- the minute I go off, I am like this again. I am on a REALLY llow dose, and I am normal. I have abig old family history, too.

My point being, if you can control it, I don't think my experience with drugs needs to be youurs. I am just happy to be a part of the first fully functional generation of my family, without, you know, trips to have electro-sonvulsive therapy.

I took the ACT. I think my average score was a 28. Or maybe a 26. Something like that. I don't understand the SAT scoring, so all of the numbers today are like a different language to me.

I have new hair! And tomorrow I dye it. I'll take pictures then and post them.

Cindy, I have some ideas for you. I'll put them together and either post them or e-mail them to you.

My family has a history of depression too, Sophia. Right now, I am depressed, but I think it is situational, between my neck acting up, and because the anxiety has been so oppressive. I just feel like I need a break with those two things, and the depression would float away. I've been talking to my older cousins. A few have a history of anxiety striking in their 30s (I'm 37, and the baby cousin), and it sounds nearly identical to what is going on with me. I suspect hormones.

I am just happy to be a part of the first fully functional generation of my family, without, you know, trips to have electro-sonvulsive therapy.