This reminds me of a Women's Studies class I heard about in which the professor asked, "How many of you have routines for walking to your car at night?" Every woman in the room raised her hand. Every man looked around astonished.

Well, it's tough on the vast bunch of really nice guys out there, who just want to chat with a person without being treated to the cold shoulder.

Exactly. Because, well, I do often nonchalantly "follow" girls around and keep stealing glances at them. But it's only because I think they're pretty and I'm waiting for some opportunity to fall out of the sky and let me talk to them. My penis will stay in my pants, promise.

By the time most women get to be 21, they have a long list of events like guys following them through malls or rubbing against them in movie theaters or staring at them across a library or other creepy stuff. Makes us hyperaware.

Yes, yes it does.

Nonian, I dealt with a similar obscene caller when I was at a similar age. Asked me all kinds of questions about "pussy" that bewildered me, because I'd never heard that word used for anything but a cat.

No, they don't, P-C, but not all of them are worthy representatives of Buffista men, just as not all women can pull off the tiara/snark/swordplay thing.

I like men, a lot. And I make a conscious effort to engage strangers-but frankly, it is a conscious effort still. I've been stalked and I was molested by a stranger as a 13 year old, and I'm a lot less likely a target than Ms. Barton.

So, it can make one a little wary, which sucks, because nobody should have to live that way. And, it means that you sometimes err on the side of wary, and miss out what could have been a really pleasant to wonderful encounter.

IJS.

Edit to make more of the sense thing all the kids are having nowadays.

Not to interrupt flasher/celebrity sighting stories (welcome back, P-C!), but I'd just like to announce that I have finally joined the 21st century and used my cell phone to make a totally casual phone call from home, instead of my land line.

t waits for applause, realizes that I am a dork and about five years behind everyone else, and blushes

Oh, and I also just placed my very first-ever grocery delivery order! Not as expensive as I thought it would be (of course, the $15-off code I had helped), and less tempting for me to get stuff that I don't need, but am hopeless against when I go to the store in person (brownies, ice cream, cookies...).

Congratulations, Kathy! Now, you need a PDA and an iPod.

Because, well, I do often nonchalantly "follow" girls around and keep stealing glances at them. But it's only because I think they're pretty and I'm waiting for some opportunity to fall out of the sky and let me talk to them.

This would completely creep me out. To the point where, if it were at a mall or somewhere, I might notify security.

This would completely creep me out. To the point where, if it were at a mall or somewhere, I might notify security.

Oh. Oops. Maybe I'm not describing it properly. Or maybe this is why I'm single.

A friend of mine and I ended up explaining this to my officemate, who is probably in his 40s. He was surprised, to say the least. It is frustrating that it is so internalized an experience to women that some men honestly aren't aware of the calculations we make in our heads. And frustrating that it is so 'normal' a thing that you just do it wthout really thinking about it. Or something like that. I'm not very coherent on the idea. Probably because I do it without thinking about it. Just a daily routine.