Congratulations, Kathy! Now, you need a PDA and an iPod.

Because, well, I do often nonchalantly "follow" girls around and keep stealing glances at them. But it's only because I think they're pretty and I'm waiting for some opportunity to fall out of the sky and let me talk to them.

This would completely creep me out. To the point where, if it were at a mall or somewhere, I might notify security.

This would completely creep me out. To the point where, if it were at a mall or somewhere, I might notify security.

Oh. Oops. Maybe I'm not describing it properly. Or maybe this is why I'm single.

A friend of mine and I ended up explaining this to my officemate, who is probably in his 40s. He was surprised, to say the least. It is frustrating that it is so internalized an experience to women that some men honestly aren't aware of the calculations we make in our heads. And frustrating that it is so 'normal' a thing that you just do it wthout really thinking about it. Or something like that. I'm not very coherent on the idea. Probably because I do it without thinking about it. Just a daily routine.

To the point where, if it were at a mall or somewhere, I might notify security

They finally caught a serial rapist here in WI know as the "mall rapist." After 7 years. A couple of them at the mall only 1/2 a mile from where I lived. That I often walked to because it was so close, but never at night. Seven years of waiting for unaccompanied women to come out of malls so he could grab them. Let me tell you, there's a hell of a lot of relieved women in Madison.

P-C, At a party or something like that, it would be cool and might get you somewhere. In a public place like a mall or an airport? Nervousmaking and/or annoying.

nodding to the hyper-aware thing

It seems like the new policy is to require employees to justify and second-guess every decision they make and ask permission before doing anything, no matter how routine or insignificant.

Right you are. New school of management by intimidation, bullying and keeping the worker offguard and self-questioning. It's the new model, soon all the businesses will be using it. Reduce the workforce, increase the workload, reduce overhead, increase the profit margin. No, seriously, no snark intended. It's the business management standard being taught right now.

Because, well, I do often nonchalantly "follow" girls around and keep stealing glances at them.

Yeah, sorry, that's shady. Either walk up and say something, or don't, but following at all in any way is shady.

I remember the first big scare we got was when I was 13, there was a rash of break-ins around Joliet, with someone getting in by cutting through the screen window and bashing teens/young women on the head (a friend of my brothers ended up with a steel plate in her skull). It took them more than a year to figure out that the one thing all the victims had in common was that they had been at the local roller-skating rink within six months of the attack. I think the tally was 12 before they finally caught the guy.

I think you're quite coherent.

That gap of experience is one of the reasons I think it's not talked about too much in mixed company, and yet it's one of the reasons it has to be.