IME, this leads to shag, shag, shag. Knickers, knickers, mate. SNOG SNOG knickers mate shag shag cup o' tea.

This just reminded me of Spike's line in Tabula Rasa:

Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks. Oh, God. I'm English.

Also, "Cup o tea, cup o tea, almost got shagged, cup o tea."

And what's with the phrase "Pulled a face"?

And it's funny because nitpick freak readers like myself is the reason I won't write any fic, even though I want to.

Aimee -- that's what beta readers are for! Especially beta readers who actually hail from Ol' Blimey and will stop dead your altogether egregious mistakes.

And it never hurts to remember that quite a bit of your audience isn't going to even be able to spot some of the mistakes....

Seriously, though, I never try to get an 'accent' right in the first draft. It's in revision where I tune the words to their correct(er) phrasing. Perfect is the enemy of good, and I am used to the revision of a page taking twice as long as the writing thereof.

I've taken you to heart and started writing my fic. You'll be getting a beta request. Count on it.

Dear God, ya'll have converted me.

One of you! One of you!

Okay, question: do we know what happened to James' family?

He clearly had one -- and a decent one at that: they were the second family for Sirius and possibly Remus and yet: Harry has no relatives on his father's side.

Could whatever it was that happened to his family be what changed him and made him the person that Lily fell in love with?

Okay, question: do we know what happened to James' family?

I always wondered about that too. And hoped that someone from his side would show up to help take care of Harry.

One of you! One of you!

Of course you are.

One of you! One of you!

Bwahahaha!

rubs hands together gleefully

Go for it, girl!

I have to say, the thing that cracks me up about a lot of fic is how what seems to me to be a VERY American author trying to work in the British lexicon to make it seem like the author is British, but gets a little carried away and tries too hard. IME, this leads to shag, shag, shag. Knickers, knickers, mate. SNOG SNOG knickers mate shag shag cup o' tea.

God, yes. And egregious use of "right", as in "God, you've made a right mess of that" - because it's sort of class-specific, and will only work with certain speech patterns. And then there's the word "starkers", which I stumbled across in a published book last week, and have also encountered in fanfic being abused in the same way. "Stark raving bonkers" = crazy. Yes. But "Starkers" = Naked. So saying "He's completely starkers!" is not an amusingly Austin Powersish way of calling someone a crazyhead, it's a comment upon the fact that his dangly bits are visible to all and sundry.

See also "nutter". "Nutter" = "lunatic". Noun, not adjective. Thus "They're nutters" = "They're lunatics." Thus "He's totally nutters" = "He's totally lunatics." ie, it's a nonsensical sentence. Which doesn't stop it from cropping up in fic after fic.

And "bollocks". We don't have the word "Bollix", although your word is derived from ours - but around the time that you folks were putting skirts on pianos to hide their sexy legs, you were also messing with the rudeness of words like 'titbit' (became 'tidbit') and 'bollocks'. (And cockroach? We don't really say 'roach', so much. Not sure about this one, though.) Anyway, 'bollocks' means testicles, but when used in an expletive you use it in the same way that you might use 'bullshit'. "That's a load of bollocks", "Don't talk bollocks" etc.

Sorry, Fay!!! I was totally joking!

No worries - it's just that Potterfic is SO densely packed with stories that suddenly hurl a person out of the narrative all for want of a little Brit-picking. Gah. Okay, stepping off soapbox now.

And what's with the phrase "Pulled a face"?

...you folks don't say this? Huh. Well how do you say it, then? It means, er, you know, when you make a silly expression. When you grimace.

Okay, question: do we know what happened to James' family?

I'm pretty sure that bugger all reference is ever made to them, beyond Sirius saying he went to stay with them after he legged it from his own place. And it's been a little question mark in the back of my head too - because the Wizarding World is so incestuous, neccesarily, as it's such a small community, really. So one would really expect there to be some fraternal family out there, since the Potters were a wizarding family.

shrugs

Pulled a face

...you folks don't say this? Huh. Well how do you say it, then? It means, er, you know, when you make a silly expression. When you grimace.

NA equivalent is "made a face".

We don't have the word "Bollix",

The only time I've seen Bollix is when used as a verb, "Boy, you really bollixed that up, didn't you," as in, fucked up etc.

I've seen/heard "pulled a face," but it's come to my attention that my native vocabulary has a lot more Britishisms in it than other places. I was taught to spell judgement with the e, for example, and I'll never stop thinking the American spelling, judgment, is wrong like a wrong thing.