I've taken you to heart and started writing my fic. You'll be getting a beta request. Count on it.

Dear God, ya'll have converted me.

One of you! One of you!

Okay, question: do we know what happened to James' family?

He clearly had one -- and a decent one at that: they were the second family for Sirius and possibly Remus and yet: Harry has no relatives on his father's side.

Could whatever it was that happened to his family be what changed him and made him the person that Lily fell in love with?

Okay, question: do we know what happened to James' family?

I always wondered about that too. And hoped that someone from his side would show up to help take care of Harry.

One of you! One of you!

Of course you are.

One of you! One of you!

Bwahahaha!

rubs hands together gleefully

Go for it, girl!

I have to say, the thing that cracks me up about a lot of fic is how what seems to me to be a VERY American author trying to work in the British lexicon to make it seem like the author is British, but gets a little carried away and tries too hard. IME, this leads to shag, shag, shag. Knickers, knickers, mate. SNOG SNOG knickers mate shag shag cup o' tea.

God, yes. And egregious use of "right", as in "God, you've made a right mess of that" - because it's sort of class-specific, and will only work with certain speech patterns. And then there's the word "starkers", which I stumbled across in a published book last week, and have also encountered in fanfic being abused in the same way. "Stark raving bonkers" = crazy. Yes. But "Starkers" = Naked. So saying "He's completely starkers!" is not an amusingly Austin Powersish way of calling someone a crazyhead, it's a comment upon the fact that his dangly bits are visible to all and sundry.

See also "nutter". "Nutter" = "lunatic". Noun, not adjective. Thus "They're nutters" = "They're lunatics." Thus "He's totally nutters" = "He's totally lunatics." ie, it's a nonsensical sentence. Which doesn't stop it from cropping up in fic after fic.

And "bollocks". We don't have the word "Bollix", although your word is derived from ours - but around the time that you folks were putting skirts on pianos to hide their sexy legs, you were also messing with the rudeness of words like 'titbit' (became 'tidbit') and 'bollocks'. (And cockroach? We don't really say 'roach', so much. Not sure about this one, though.) Anyway, 'bollocks' means testicles, but when used in an expletive you use it in the same way that you might use 'bullshit'. "That's a load of bollocks", "Don't talk bollocks" etc.

Sorry, Fay!!! I was totally joking!

No worries - it's just that Potterfic is SO densely packed with stories that suddenly hurl a person out of the narrative all for want of a little Brit-picking. Gah. Okay, stepping off soapbox now.

And what's with the phrase "Pulled a face"?

...you folks don't say this? Huh. Well how do you say it, then? It means, er, you know, when you make a silly expression. When you grimace.

Okay, question: do we know what happened to James' family?

I'm pretty sure that bugger all reference is ever made to them, beyond Sirius saying he went to stay with them after he legged it from his own place. And it's been a little question mark in the back of my head too - because the Wizarding World is so incestuous, neccesarily, as it's such a small community, really. So one would really expect there to be some fraternal family out there, since the Potters were a wizarding family.

shrugs

Pulled a face

...you folks don't say this? Huh. Well how do you say it, then? It means, er, you know, when you make a silly expression. When you grimace.

NA equivalent is "made a face".

We don't have the word "Bollix",

The only time I've seen Bollix is when used as a verb, "Boy, you really bollixed that up, didn't you," as in, fucked up etc.

I've seen/heard "pulled a face," but it's come to my attention that my native vocabulary has a lot more Britishisms in it than other places. I was taught to spell judgement with the e, for example, and I'll never stop thinking the American spelling, judgment, is wrong like a wrong thing.

...you folks don't say this? Huh. Well how do you say it, then? It means, er, you know, when you make a silly expression. When you grimace.

I worded that wrong. What I meant by it was, why do so many fic authors use it ALL THE TIME.

Harry and Hermione were walking towad Ron. Ron pulled a face. "Oi! Mate! What are you, starkers? Running around in Hermione's knickers? Care for a snogging shag cup o'tea?" Hermione pulled a face, "Oh shag it, you right bloody bollix. I mean, Merlin's beard, right? You're such a Nutters." Harry looked at both of his bestest friends in the whole world and said, "Wow. Learn to speak the Queen's fucking English, you lot. Fancy a snog?" and then pulled a face.

Isn't "bollix" just a misspelling?

What I meant by it was, why do so many fic authors use it ALL THE TIME.

Because it can be an easy substitute for characterization.

I feel like my grasp on British English is not too bad, largely due to a lot of British TV and mystery novel consumption.