One of you! One of you!

Of course you are.

One of you! One of you!

Bwahahaha!

rubs hands together gleefully

Go for it, girl!

I have to say, the thing that cracks me up about a lot of fic is how what seems to me to be a VERY American author trying to work in the British lexicon to make it seem like the author is British, but gets a little carried away and tries too hard. IME, this leads to shag, shag, shag. Knickers, knickers, mate. SNOG SNOG knickers mate shag shag cup o' tea.

God, yes. And egregious use of "right", as in "God, you've made a right mess of that" - because it's sort of class-specific, and will only work with certain speech patterns. And then there's the word "starkers", which I stumbled across in a published book last week, and have also encountered in fanfic being abused in the same way. "Stark raving bonkers" = crazy. Yes. But "Starkers" = Naked. So saying "He's completely starkers!" is not an amusingly Austin Powersish way of calling someone a crazyhead, it's a comment upon the fact that his dangly bits are visible to all and sundry.

See also "nutter". "Nutter" = "lunatic". Noun, not adjective. Thus "They're nutters" = "They're lunatics." Thus "He's totally nutters" = "He's totally lunatics." ie, it's a nonsensical sentence. Which doesn't stop it from cropping up in fic after fic.

And "bollocks". We don't have the word "Bollix", although your word is derived from ours - but around the time that you folks were putting skirts on pianos to hide their sexy legs, you were also messing with the rudeness of words like 'titbit' (became 'tidbit') and 'bollocks'. (And cockroach? We don't really say 'roach', so much. Not sure about this one, though.) Anyway, 'bollocks' means testicles, but when used in an expletive you use it in the same way that you might use 'bullshit'. "That's a load of bollocks", "Don't talk bollocks" etc.

Sorry, Fay!!! I was totally joking!

No worries - it's just that Potterfic is SO densely packed with stories that suddenly hurl a person out of the narrative all for want of a little Brit-picking. Gah. Okay, stepping off soapbox now.

And what's with the phrase "Pulled a face"?

...you folks don't say this? Huh. Well how do you say it, then? It means, er, you know, when you make a silly expression. When you grimace.

Okay, question: do we know what happened to James' family?

I'm pretty sure that bugger all reference is ever made to them, beyond Sirius saying he went to stay with them after he legged it from his own place. And it's been a little question mark in the back of my head too - because the Wizarding World is so incestuous, neccesarily, as it's such a small community, really. So one would really expect there to be some fraternal family out there, since the Potters were a wizarding family.

shrugs

Pulled a face

...you folks don't say this? Huh. Well how do you say it, then? It means, er, you know, when you make a silly expression. When you grimace.

NA equivalent is "made a face".

We don't have the word "Bollix",

The only time I've seen Bollix is when used as a verb, "Boy, you really bollixed that up, didn't you," as in, fucked up etc.

I've seen/heard "pulled a face," but it's come to my attention that my native vocabulary has a lot more Britishisms in it than other places. I was taught to spell judgement with the e, for example, and I'll never stop thinking the American spelling, judgment, is wrong like a wrong thing.

...you folks don't say this? Huh. Well how do you say it, then? It means, er, you know, when you make a silly expression. When you grimace.

I worded that wrong. What I meant by it was, why do so many fic authors use it ALL THE TIME.

Harry and Hermione were walking towad Ron. Ron pulled a face. "Oi! Mate! What are you, starkers? Running around in Hermione's knickers? Care for a snogging shag cup o'tea?" Hermione pulled a face, "Oh shag it, you right bloody bollix. I mean, Merlin's beard, right? You're such a Nutters." Harry looked at both of his bestest friends in the whole world and said, "Wow. Learn to speak the Queen's fucking English, you lot. Fancy a snog?" and then pulled a face.

Isn't "bollix" just a misspelling?

What I meant by it was, why do so many fic authors use it ALL THE TIME.

Because it can be an easy substitute for characterization.

I feel like my grasp on British English is not too bad, largely due to a lot of British TV and mystery novel consumption.

Isn't "bollix" just a misspelling?

Well, it's years since I read Bill Bryson's books on language, but I'm pretty sure I remember him saying that that was the US spelling, and that it had taken on a slightly different meaning over the years.

I feel like my grasp on British English is not too bad, largely due to a lot of British TV and mystery novel consumption.

Mine comes from HP (surprise) and the British romance novels I read. Some from Are You Being Served? and now that I have BBC again, My Family.

And this kind little thing I found out cracks me up - I love Nora Roberts (American author) and Jane Greene (English author) equally. Maybe I love Jane a little bit more, but Nora has way more published works. They are similar authors in that they both write romance. What cracks me up is that at Border's, Nora's books are in "Romance" while Jane's books are in "Literature".

(Ok, I'm new to the Land O' Fic. Is it okay for me to be so critical of The Fic? Cause some of it - it is so bad.)