Oh, Jess.... You need to see it for the BADNESS!
Oh yes. So many scenes are laughable.
'Shindig'
A place to talk about movies--Old and new, good and bad, high art and high cheese. It's the place to place your kittens on the award winners, gossip about upcoming fims and discuss DVD releases and extras. Spoiler policy: White font all plot-related discussion until a movie's been in wide release two weeks, and keep the major HSQ in white font until two weeks after the video/DVD release.
Oh, Jess.... You need to see it for the BADNESS!
Oh yes. So many scenes are laughable.
So many scenes are laughable.
I've only seen the parody on The Simpsons. Lisa walks by a demo of the DVD's "director's commentary" function. The entire commentary is Costner saying: "I am sorry. I am so, so sorry..."
The entire commentary is Costner saying: "I am sorry. I am so, so sorry..."
Then it turns out that it's not a commentary on the DVD, but Kevin Costner standing behind the TV.
Hee! I forgot that part.
Usually I'm not too intense about minutiae when casting for comic book films. I allow for liberties to be taken. I didn't expect the actor playing Wolverine to really be five-foot-three and I didn't require Wilson Fisk to be white (I did require the movie not to suck, but that's another rant entirely). However, John Constantine needs to be really sarcastic, blond (his look was modeled after Sting), and most important, English. That they couldn't be bothered to give us any of the three shows a distressing lack of intelligence. Keanu can do smoldering and that's about it.
I still think Callum Keith Rennie would have been a perfect Constantine.
I could have handled a blisteringly sarcastic and intelligent brunet American Constantine. It would be not right, but workable.
This solution? Man, I'd rather see Paul Walker play Constantine than Keanu. Keanu is so all or nothing, and often nothing.
Let's not forget "you make me want to be... a better man."
I think I threw up in my mouth a little.
I think this line has been rescued from cheesiness by the fact that it can be turned into so many different kinds of wrong. My favorite being "Love means always having to say you're sorry." Or, "Love means never having to say you look fat in that dress."
Still, I think it's sad that so many incredibly cheesy moments seem to have been lost from the collective consciousness. The oldest film on that list is Top Gun. Kids today just don't seem to care about classic cheese. It's a damn shame.