So many scenes are laughable.
I've only seen the parody on The Simpsons. Lisa walks by a demo of the DVD's "director's commentary" function. The entire commentary is Costner saying: "I am sorry. I am so, so sorry..."
Oh, no, oh, no! Spontaneous poetic exclamations. Lord, spare me college boys in love.
Dr. Walsh ,'Potential'
Buffista Movies 3: Panned and Scanned
A place to talk about movies--Old and new, good and bad, high art and high cheese. It's the place to place your kittens on the award winners, gossip about upcoming fims and discuss DVD releases and extras. Spoiler policy: White font all plot-related discussion until a movie's been in wide release two weeks, and keep the major HSQ in white font until two weeks after the video/DVD release.
Anne W. - Dec 07, 2004 8:08:00 am PST #6827 of 10001
The lost sheep grow teeth, forsake their lambs, and lie with the lions.
Sean K - Dec 07, 2004 8:20:47 am PST #6828 of 10001
You can't leave me to my own devices; my devices are Nap and Eat. -Zenkitty
The entire commentary is Costner saying: "I am sorry. I am so, so sorry..."
Then it turns out that it's not a commentary on the DVD, but Kevin Costner standing behind the TV.
Anne W. - Dec 07, 2004 8:22:48 am PST #6829 of 10001
The lost sheep grow teeth, forsake their lambs, and lie with the lions.
Hee! I forgot that part.
Mr. Broom - Dec 07, 2004 8:24:01 am PST #6830 of 10001
"When I look at people that I would like to feel have been a mentor or an inspiring kind of archetype of what I'd love to see my career eventually be mentioned as a footnote for in the same paragraph, it would be, like, Bowie." ~Trent Reznor
Usually I'm not too intense about minutiae when casting for comic book films. I allow for liberties to be taken. I didn't expect the actor playing Wolverine to really be five-foot-three and I didn't require Wilson Fisk to be white (I did require the movie not to suck, but that's another rant entirely). However, John Constantine needs to be really sarcastic, blond (his look was modeled after Sting), and most important, English. That they couldn't be bothered to give us any of the three shows a distressing lack of intelligence. Keanu can do smoldering and that's about it.
Anne W. - Dec 07, 2004 8:27:15 am PST #6831 of 10001
The lost sheep grow teeth, forsake their lambs, and lie with the lions.
I still think Callum Keith Rennie would have been a perfect Constantine.
§ ita § - Dec 07, 2004 8:27:21 am PST #6832 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
I could have handled a blisteringly sarcastic and intelligent brunet American Constantine. It would be not right, but workable.
This solution? Man, I'd rather see Paul Walker play Constantine than Keanu. Keanu is so all or nothing, and often nothing.
Betsy HP - Dec 07, 2004 8:34:53 am PST #6833 of 10001
If I only had a brain...
Let's not forget "you make me want to be... a better man."
§ ita § - Dec 07, 2004 8:35:43 am PST #6834 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
I think I threw up in my mouth a little.
DXMachina - Dec 07, 2004 8:48:15 am PST #6835 of 10001
You always do this. We get tipsy, and you take advantage of my love of the scientific method.
I think this line has been rescued from cheesiness by the fact that it can be turned into so many different kinds of wrong. My favorite being "Love means always having to say you're sorry." Or, "Love means never having to say you look fat in that dress."
Still, I think it's sad that so many incredibly cheesy moments seem to have been lost from the collective consciousness. The oldest film on that list is Top Gun. Kids today just don't seem to care about classic cheese. It's a damn shame.
Matt the Bruins fan - Dec 07, 2004 9:00:12 am PST #6836 of 10001
"I remember when they eventually introduced that drug kingpin who murdered people and smuggled drugs inside snakes and I was like 'Finally. A normal person.'” —RahvinDragand
I think the best cheesy lines lend themselves well to continued mocking, though. Look at how Barbra Streisand used that "Love means never having to say you're sorry" line on Ryan O'Neal in What's up, Doc?.
I've only seen the parody on The Simpsons. Lisa walks by a demo of the DVD's "director's commentary" function. The entire commentary is Costner saying: "I am sorry. I am so, so sorry..."
To me, he made up for The Postman by doing that Oscar skit where Billy Crystal is on the sinking Titanic, says things couldn't get worse, and they pan to Costner in post-apocalyptic mailman gear hanging from the rail and screaming "Yes it can!"