If you want me to leave, you can put your hands on my hot, tight little body and make me.

Spike ,'Get It Done'


Buffista Movies 3: Panned and Scanned  

A place to talk about movies--Old and new, good and bad, high art and high cheese. It's the place to place your kittens on the award winners, gossip about upcoming fims and discuss DVD releases and extras. Spoiler policy: White font all plot-related discussion until a movie's been in wide release two weeks, and keep the major HSQ in white font until two weeks after the video/DVD release.


Jesse - Jul 11, 2004 1:29:13 pm PDT #138 of 10001
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.

I'm going to copy from Nutty's whitefont, because I don't think it's a spoiler:

I mean, not if the el down Fifth ended at the East River, or anyway it would make New Yorkers just laugh harder,

That makes me think of Down With Love, where she gets out of Grand Central Terminal, is standing right under the Empire State Building, and then crosses the street to the UN. (Note: None of those things are adjacent in real life.) That made me clap my hands with glee! Or a similar, more dignified, reaction. It was such a great signifier that that movie was in fantasy New York, not boring old real New York. Loved it.


bon bon - Jul 11, 2004 1:38:33 pm PDT #139 of 10001
It's five thousand for kissing, ten thousand for snuggling... End of list.

Just got back from Anchorman. Anyone else see it? I have nothing to say about it. Nothing. But my throat and stomach hurt from laughing so much. My head also hurts, but I don't know if that's because if the laughing.

I saw it too. It didn't make me feel dirty like Dodgeball did, but it was also so silly that I don't have much to say about it, either.


Scrappy - Jul 11, 2004 1:40:17 pm PDT #140 of 10001
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

it needed to be either a straight biopic or a making-of mockumentary.

See, I like when things get all shook up. I thought some of the straight dramatic scenes were over-written-verging-on-trite, but the other stuff didn't bother me.


bon bon - Jul 11, 2004 1:49:33 pm PDT #141 of 10001
It's five thousand for kissing, ten thousand for snuggling... End of list.

Speaking of Anchorman, it reminds me of this howlingly funny anonymous gossip item.

It's nice to be a film headliner....especially if your Christmas flick ELF made $100+ million, then you can get all your fun former co-stars and friends and boyfriends of your co-star/ friends jobs in your 2005 planned summer blockbuster. Looks like Will Ferrell is stacking the deck in the upcoming SONY "BEWITCHED" film slated to start production September 1st in Los Angeles.

Though Nicole Kidman is the playing the big-screen witch, it is clearly a WILL FERRELL brand comedy, since Will had his ex-SNL buddy and Anchorman director Adam McKay doctor the Nora & Delia Ephron romantic comedy script to fit his co-starring goofball comedy needs.
Next, he plunked his ANCHORMAN co-stars Chris [Ed. Note--Steve.] (Daily Show) Carrell as flamer warlock "Uncle Arthur",and suggested Fred Willard as "Dr. Bombay" (despite the fact that the original tv actor Bernard Fox is waiting in wings to play his old role).

Ferrell also threw a "Gladys Kravitz" cameo to his ELF co-star Amy Sedaris, and the role of his agent to his ELF co-star Zooey Deschanel's boyfriend Jason Schwartzman. Sound cozy?

Luckily, Nora Ephron who is still the Bewitched director (on paper anyway), was able to snag Shirley MacLaine, Michael Caine and Joan Plowright without Will's assistance.

Depending on the box-office success of ANCHORMAN, we will see if Nora will keep on smiling and kissing Will's ample bottom.

How dare he attempt to cast such unfunny, buzz-free hangers-on? THANK GOD Nora Ephron righted that crazy wreck with instant box office gold. Shirley MacLaine, baby!


Gandalfe - Jul 11, 2004 2:45:10 pm PDT #142 of 10001
The generation that could change the world is still looking for its car keys.

I think the fact that they couldn't get Steve Carrell's name right is an indication that they don't really know what the fuck they're talking about.


§ ita § - Jul 11, 2004 3:15:35 pm PDT #143 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

I'm watching The Outsiders right now, and off the top of my head I can't remember a worse pan-and-scanned movie. The shots are so cramped, and you can really feel them sliding around and trying to compromise, with everyone bleeding off the side all the time.

I'm inattentive enough that even when I notice egregious scanning, I'm not usually made as tense as this is making me. It's not a technical point -- it's affecting the mood of the piece.


Gandalfe - Jul 11, 2004 3:20:38 pm PDT #144 of 10001
The generation that could change the world is still looking for its car keys.

I can't remember a worse pan-and-scanned movie.

A Boy and His Dog was HORRIBLY done.


§ ita § - Jul 11, 2004 3:39:29 pm PDT #145 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

Luckily I never saw that one fullscreen.

A&E has just taken The Outsiders widescreen for the last few seconds. It would be jarring except it's more jarring how they scrinch the credits over to the left while they run an ad for This Old House with audio right on the tail of Sodapop's ending.

Putative Outsiders remake.


Jessica - Jul 11, 2004 3:42:25 pm PDT #146 of 10001
If I want to become a cloud of bats, does each bat need a separate vaccination?

The worst pan-n-scan job I've ever seen was on Wild Things. The fake pans during the threesome were hysterical.

The full-screen version of The Graduate (to redeem what's left of my film cred after just having admitted to seeing Wild Things) has such obvious panning and scanning that the AMMI uses it in their "What is Pan & Scan?" exhibit. (The shot that they use is a gorgeous two-shot of Dustin Hoffman and Anne Bancroft talking to each other, each in close-up profile on opposite sides of the screen. The full-screen version pans back and forth between them, utterly ruining the effect.)


§ ita § - Jul 11, 2004 3:43:53 pm PDT #147 of 10001
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

The full-screen version pans back and forth between them, utterly ruining the effect.

I've seen that cited a lot, but again never saw it fullscreen. If you didn't know that pan and scan existed, would it still be egregious, or is it "merely" ruining a beautiful shot?