Though I did give Paul my middle name. Not as a middle name. As a first name.
The Minearverse 3: The Network Is a Harsh Mistress
[NAFDA] "There will be an occasional happy, so that it might be crushed under the boot of the writer." From Zorro to Angel (including Wonderfalls and The Inside), this is where Buffistas come to anoint themselves in the bloodbath.
I'm just waiting to find out that Paul changed his name from Saul.
I could argue that the doorman was a more pointless, more suspicious character.
Yeah, kinda what the network said, except I thought he was so obvious that he was clearly a red herring.
My note would have said that you should introduce the cop much later. Some of it was the timing -- he was there early enough that I had time to think about him, and his mention of the fishing trip and the old files both sounded like plot points.
I don't think it was awful. Just one of those things where I saw the wires too soon. But I'm kind of hypersensitive to them, so I'm not a good sample.
well, give it another week if you can, sj, next week is plotty mcplotty. As I continued to write these things, I started making my act twos essentially act threes which seemed to do a thing.
I was surprised the cop had files with him, I didn't think the police would just let people take them home. unless he smuiggled them out.
Sometimes, Allyson's not wrong.
Also, you said the other day that Michelle Forbes was in Ep 5. But she's playing Zoya, no? Which I thought was going to be 7. Did you switch up the order again?
Well, apparently I think like a network executive (horrors!) because I was thinking the same thing about the creepy doorman, and I was so disappointed. And then I kept watching, and boom! Not him.
I love the guy who played Strong. He's been around, like, forever. He played the awful, arrogant ex-boyfriend Tommy in Valley Girl.
t /nostalgia
Loved Web tonight even more. He fascinates me. That bit at the end - - very cool. I adore the idea that Rebecca may have paged Paul herself, and it's totally in character.
Rebecca's also growing on me -- that solemn, vaguely mournful look on her face, as if all that childhood darkness has risen up to smack her in the face every day now. Loved the way she delivered the line, "You disapprove" to Paul, because it was such a statement, not a question, and yet there was no judgment in it on her end.
Favorite lines: "You've been to church?"
And the response Danny gave to the witness who said you didn't know anal until you'd met whoever. I, of course, can't remember the line now, because my memory sucks, but I loved the way he said it.
Really looking forward to next week. Great idea for a plot.
well, give it another week if you can, sj, next week is plotty mcplotty. As I continued to write these things, I started making my act twos essentially act threes which seemed to do a thing.
Oh, I am not giving up on you that quickly. I think part of the problem is that you are writing it so I expect more than I would from any other show I just started watching. So far the plots seem typical of a lot of other crime shows and I just expect more of something you are writing. I have already told my DVR to record the whole servies and I plan on sticking with it. I am not hating it, I am just not in love with it yet, and I really want to love it.
Kristen, she might have something there.
marked
Also, I told you that these 13 would be a gorgeous scriptbook. They really read very well.
he was so obvious that he was clearly a red herring
And, may I say it, a tad bit of a cliche. The ex-detective surprised me. But I'm not one of those who can read a mystery novel and tell you 20 pages in whodunnit. I just don't think long term plot. I'm into character and dialogue. So, all I can say is keep up the good work, Tim! I'm happy with what I've seen so far.