Sure, but would we belive the Fella without an obit and a death certificate? He could be anybody.

the difference is that we've meet Beej, and know she exists. It's like when Toddson was in the hospital. She called me, I let people on the board know. Because people know me, and know her, we rallied, we sent flowers.

It is, IMHO, much more suspect when someone who has been met in person by NO ONE is reported to be dead, again by someone that no one knows.

The fact is that if anyone here is truly convinced that Gus is everything that he said he was, and has passed away, this discussion would be upsetting. But, I truly believe that there is a legitimate question to be asked. Are we taking it too far? Maybe, but it doesn't change the fact that more questions remain than answers.

Trudy, I could wish that you treated the feelings of actual people with whom you interact every day with the same tenderness as you treat those of hypothetical people who might or might not come to visit this board.

I already checked the LDS Social Security Death Index. I've used it before, in ancestry research. I came up with nothing, but I didn't mention it because, as Trudy says, it isn't immediately updated, so finding nothing doesn't tell us anything definitive.

It is, IMHO, much more suspect when someone who has been met in person by NO ONE is reported to be dead, again by someone that no one knows.

I agree, but the fact is I think we do have people who would fall under this.

The fact is that if anyone here is truly convinced that Gus is everything that he said he was, and has passed away, this discussion would be upsetting.

But, I truly believe that there is a legitimate question to be asked.

Not wanting to speak for any but myself, but I'd say the intersection of these two points is where some of the inital hurt and anger were coming from. Yes, a legitimate question. Did we jump on it too early or too fiercely? It felt a bit that way to me, and and least some others.

By this point I'm just tired, and feel like we're wearing out our hamster wheel. YMMV.

Concur on wishing Trudy would stop with the snide. It's the only truly disruptive part of this whole discussion.

You know, I am remembering that we discussed this once. Either Betsy volunteered herself, or somebody volunteered her, soon after her bout of pneumonia a couple years back. (I seem to recall Mr. P coming under some sock-puppet scrutiny, seeing as how he is too good to be true.) We all mentioned the fact so many of us have met one another, that we correspond and send each other RL mailing addresses and in general are much too tightly-knit for Fake Internet Drama to work very well.

David S. reminisced about how Typo Boy heard a friend of David's was in the hospital in a new city where she didn't know anybody, and he went and visited her. I love that kind of story -- that is the kind of story that makes Buffistarianism work.

(Not that you have to go visit people you've never met in the hospital, but, that sense that it's all real and we're not joking and if you really did need to flee the country for some reason, you could depend on us severally to Underground Railroad you to Canada.)

In sum, let us all go visit each other in the hospital. Just, Brigham & Women's, front lobby, next Tuesday at 4. No need for anybody to be sick or anything.

I've been away for a long time. As a matter of fact, I only came back when I read the news of Gus' death, so I've been following this from lurktown, but now I feel I have to say something. I have seen at least three cases of pseuidicide rip up communities I've been part of. The approach taken here strikes me as the healthiest way of dealing with the thorny issue of any I've seen.

Trudy, if you do not choose to pursue the questions that's up to you.

Since it apparently does need to be typed out loud, you do not get to make that choice for the rest of the board.

Period.

I mourn for the Gus we lost, but I'm becoming convinced there is reason to believe we're being manipulated.

To the extent you can stop aiding and abetting the manipulation, that would be a very good thing.

What Vortex, Betsy, Nutty, et. al. said. I'm much more concerned about the people I have broken bread with (both in the literal and figurative sense).

Not wanting to speak for any but myself, but I'd say the intersection of these two points is where some of the inital hurt and anger were coming from. Yes, a legitimate question. Did we jump on it too early or too fiercely? It felt a bit that way to me, and and least some others.

This is one point on which (if you feel like it, brenda) I would like some clarification. It seems as though you may sort of mean it would have been better to let people mourn longer, before bringing up the doubts. If so, could you please explain that, a little. Admittedly, I'm getting this idea, in part, from an (open) LJ entry, as well.

Yeah, at this point, Trudy, if your aim is to make us feel as bad as you feel, then you're succeeding, at least for me.

For me as well. I'm almost wanting to cry here.

Trudy, why do you care so much for the feelings of people whom you've never met, who may well not even be real, who -- if they *are* real -- might not even have a death to be mourning? You apparently care enough about these hypothetical strangers enough to say really hurtful, destructive things to people who you've actually met in person, and to disrupt a discussion which has been, for the most part, respectful and calm.

You're a very compassionate person, Trudy, but I feel that in this instance, it's out of proportion.