It's funny, but in talking this experience over with a rl friend who has similar interests and such, I said that the one thing I am secure about is the structure and integrity of the group. Even with the dissent and wildly varying degrees of input/emotional involvement, the group itself seems solid as a rock. t /ashford and simpson.

What feels unstable Cindy?

Also, it never occured to me that Fela wouldn't come here to say that I had passed...but the other rl friend said that she has no idea what her spouse does on the 'net and it wouldn't remotely occur to her.

Sure, but would we belive the Fella without an obit and a death certificate? He could be anybody.

Good news! Looks like there is a Social Security index of deaths in the nation. Oh joy! Now we can know at all times who is dead and who is not. The bad news is that we'll have to wait a couple of months to use it as it does not update instantly. How terribly insensitive of them!

[link]

Pretty sure I don't have to elaborate, now.

ironic that insensitive was used. or maybe ironic is the wrong word.

Yeah, at this point, Trudy, if your aim is to make us feel as bad as you feel, then you're succeeding, at least for me.

Sure, but would we belive the Fella

That is a fair question, under the circumstances.

But I'm thinking that, given that at least a few Buffistas have seen me in real life, if ever so briefly...and that I do have a pretty solid footprint on the web...and that, even though I have no blood family, my friend family would make mention of it in a variety of places, if anyone cared to, it could be confirmed.

The Great Peace March site alone would be ablaze with it.

But, you make a good point. I'm adding a request in my will that one of those classified ads in the Post be printed. ::puts money away for that now::

I don't know if I count as a regular, but I've never met any Buffistas nor spoken with them. A few emails exchanged, but I don't think that proves my independent existence.

I'd rather find out that it really was all a lie, and the person we knew as Gus is still alive. There was really a fun, knowledgable, interesting person there, troubled though he/she was.

Sure, but would we belive the Fella without an obit and a death certificate? He could be anybody.

the difference is that we've meet Beej, and know she exists. It's like when Toddson was in the hospital. She called me, I let people on the board know. Because people know me, and know her, we rallied, we sent flowers.

It is, IMHO, much more suspect when someone who has been met in person by NO ONE is reported to be dead, again by someone that no one knows.

The fact is that if anyone here is truly convinced that Gus is everything that he said he was, and has passed away, this discussion would be upsetting. But, I truly believe that there is a legitimate question to be asked. Are we taking it too far? Maybe, but it doesn't change the fact that more questions remain than answers.

Trudy, I could wish that you treated the feelings of actual people with whom you interact every day with the same tenderness as you treat those of hypothetical people who might or might not come to visit this board.

I already checked the LDS Social Security Death Index. I've used it before, in ancestry research. I came up with nothing, but I didn't mention it because, as Trudy says, it isn't immediately updated, so finding nothing doesn't tell us anything definitive.