Oh, this would be sad. It makes sense considering the variety of 'cues' we don't have...in terms of reality checking with tone of voice, expression, etc. But some cliches just aren't true. It does NOT take just one bad apple to spoil the whole bunch.
Beej, I meant to respond to this earlier. It's not one bad apple for me--I was a bronzer before I was a buffista and was there for Penlind. That probably colors my opinion on this issue but it's reinforced my need to know as much as I possibly can to feel comfortable with what I "think" I know about the people I interact with online.
I was a bronzer before I was a buffista and was there for Penlind
Cash, the first time Cindy posted the words "I Googled," my brain jumped straight to Penlind and I started worrying about all the Bronze alums here and how it was pinging them.
FWIW, I Googled too, as soon as kimi posted -- not out of hubris but, as everyone else did, out of fondness for Gus and the desire to see someone else's remembrances, some word from someone else who'd known him and taken pleasure in him. And I'm way, way late about this, but thank you, Cindy, for starting this conversation. It is necessary, and thank you for it.
Cashmere, I'm so glad you brought my comment back around. I have to apologize because I was unconsciously talking to myself there, and should not have dragged you into the fear I'm holding at arm's length.
I completely get being cautious after having bad experiences. Since I have had bad irl experiences with fabricators and such, I too have that caution and just don't want to think I need to be watchful here. This place is a big part of my recreation and edification, and is so very different from other online groups I've seen (and run swiftly away from), I just jerked my knee.
Please excuse.
Ah, no worries, Beej.
What's sad is that regardless of the outcome, just the spectre of a doubt is enough to change how people look at the board and their interactions with others. It's understandable to want to NOT get into that. To NOT hash it out a la buffistae would be easier but I don't think it would be prudent.
YPMV.
It's not one bad apple for me, either.
There was, most memorably, Penlind (edit: Monique, I think the little boy's name was Djoser or D'joser, not Django).
And within the last couple of years, someone registered at the Beta, and told us a poster named Aramina (formerly Andrea) had died. We all mourned her for a day or so, because the person who posted claimed to be her brother, and it was this awful car wreck, and how could we question him, and hurt his feelings? Aramina was quite surprised (read: HORRIFIED) to read it all, when she came back, good and alive (and the person wasn't her brother).
I watched it happen in a post-Bronze threaded community. The girl supposedly died, because (I shit you not) she sang when she was under doctors orders not to because of [some undefined medical condition]. Almost nobody saw that it was bad fic a fakery.
I watched someone in that same post-Bronze threaded community spoof another poster, and stir up all kinds of shit -- the spoofer turned out to be one of my (formerly) favorite people.
I've seen other, long respected Bronzers, take information from a private site and feed it to people outside.
With the exception of Penlind, all these episodes of bad behavior were caused by or focused on people known as long or longer than Gus, and trusted as much or more than Gus. In Aramina's case, she had nothing to do with her "death" which made it all the more chilling, because it meant another Beta Bronzer may have faked the whole thing to hurt her and the Beta.
As bon, noted it's useful to innoculate people with a little bit of doubt and make people aware of this dynamic (which is generally very consistent).
And as Dana noted (and Cindy just validated), it's a common experience in ongoing online communities.
The girl supposedly died, because (I shit you not) she sang
Fascinating. Did she have violet eyes, by any chance?
I think the little boy's name was Djoser
Yes! Although I think his real name was "Fictional piece of drama that I can 'kill' off to gain love."
I remember back when someone first asked me if Penlind pinged my Bullshit Meter. I was so innocent and trusting that my first thought was, "Huh? What?" Then my brain kicked in and 30 seconds later there was no doubt in my mind that everything was an elaborate piece of fiction.
Ah. To be young again.
The hashing seems infinitely healthy to me.
A very long time ago, at a do-gooding non-profit, an employee began telling folks that she was pregnant, not in a relationship and in very bad financial straits. Everyone jumped to her aide...some of them in similar shape. Call it spidey-sense, but I had a bad feeling about the whole thing. One of my best friends in the org was appalled when I quietly expressed my concern. We had an enormous falling out that was never really healed. It came to pass that the pregnant person, 'lost the baby' and as a result got even more money, sympathy and support thrown at her. I was the only one who did not give money (that I didn't have at the moment, mind you) and was roundly spurned. Another employee went to visit the woman's mother and discovered that it was all a lie. The nearly 1k worth of merchandise given (and this was nearly 20 years ago), had been sold for shoes and manicures.
The point is, THAT community did not have an open discussion like this and long-term distrust and pain resulted.
