What struck me the most was that they just kept moving the line around, as if that would change anything. You think you're just about to actually do something - but, no, you just move to another line. And, hey, I've studied traffic jams - moving the bottleneck isn't going to solve anything.

I had to go in two days, because I missed out on actually getting into the building by about ten people. I mean, I got in, just to be told to go home and try again tomorrow.

Oh, those are the worst. And they happen here, too.

The LA DMV actually isn't bad, especially if you go early in the morning or have an appointment.

The DMV in Boston has gotten somewhat civilized. You take a number and sit on benches until your number appears on a big screen

we have that too. because of the computerized system, you can go online and see what the wait is at each office. how cool is that?

They've got the computerized timing thing for the Glendale DMV. The trick is it only show the wait once you are past the initial line that puts you into the other line. So online it'll say something like 30 minutes. And that's totally accurate. It just doesn't take into account the 60 to 120 minute line you have to wait in to get assigned a number so that you can then wait in the 30 minute line.

Hmm, there's only one line at our DMV. You get a number and a letter, so that if you are getting licence plates, you are 123A, if you are renewing your license, you are 123B. I think that they average all of the times. Different windows serve different needs, but you only have to wait once. Someone who came in behind you might go before you because they are doing something different that takes less time.

That's the way they divide you up here, the rub is that there's usually a long line to get the number that assigns you to a line. After that you sit in chairs, except there aren't enough of them, until your number is called. You're sitting around in a virtual line.

The only time I've ever had a long wait at any DMV was when I first got my driver's license, and that was only because there were so may steps involved. (Wait in the line for the driving test, take the driving test, wait in line for your results, wait in line for your picture, etc etc.)

Getting my license renewed in NYC was quick and easy. (Well, except that there was a bomb threat while I was in line, and we had to evacuate and ended up going to the other Brooklyn DMV. But the lines there were shorter anyway, so it all worked out.)

DMV in SF is painless; call for an appointment and zero waiting, or do your business entirely online, rather than in line.

But the US Embassy in London (it's on Grosvenor Square) in the late seventies was a place of horror. For one thing, the forms were as stupid as they could be. "Please check the yes or no box for the following questions. Question one, while visiting the US, do you intend to engage in any activity that is designed in any way to harm, damage or subvert the government of the United States?"

Um, even if I was, would I tell you?

Gee, where's my number two pencil?

deb, I answered these questions on the papers I had to fill for my application. A PDF file of the forms.

Do you seek to enter the United States to engage in export control violations, subversive or terrorist activities, or any other unlawful purpose? Are you a member or representative of a terrorist organization as currently designated by the U.S. Secretary of State? Have you ever participated in persecutions directed by the Nazi government of Germany; or have you ever participated in genocide?

Does anyone ever answer "yes" to these? And if so, why isn't there a "If yes, please explain" box? Or a "If so, please handcuff yourself and turn yourself over to the authorities" box?