What I Want From The Finale
by Stephanie Lang

I want the issue of 2 Slayers to be resolved in such a way that there is only 1 Slayer by 9:00, and neither Buffy nor Faith has to die for that to happen.

I want Giles back. Real Giles.

I want Xander to have 2 eyes.

I want Andrew alive at the end of it.

And Spike...oh my poor en-souled vamp. I want him to get over Buffy and get his 'tude back. Maybe go looking for Dru.

I want the SiTs to go back to wherever they came from, and finish high school, college, or cosmetology school.

I want the Scoobs to form the Council of Watchers, Mark 2.0.

I want Anya to go away.

I want an epilogue that is Willow, turning the corner in Istanbul, and running into Oz.

I want the Grrr Argh guy to be pithy and witty and not make me cry.

Oh! And I want All-Naked, All-Gay.

(Okay, I know most of it is a pipe dream. But All-Naked, All-Gay could still happen...)

I think it was just bringing in the strangest thing one could find, so they had stuff like ostrich, snail and possum. I suppose for a Buffy one someone would have to bring a principal.

Next week's TV Guide (May 24-30) has a brief column about a special called Night Bites: Women and Their Vampires that's going to air on WE.

When did Marti Noxon's vampire obsession begin? "Back in the late '70's," says the executive producer of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (which ended its six-year run on May 20). "A girlfriend and I bought tickets for (a movie) and snuck in to see Frank Langella in 'Dracula' (instead). It blew my mind. I wanted to get bit."

She is not alone. Noxon is one of a half dozen experts (including TV Guide's own Maitland McDonagh and Lisa Bernhard) interviewed in WE's Night Bites: Women and Their Vampires, a special about the reasons why -- when it comes to movies, books and TV shows about these princes of darkness -- women say "Bite me." But in a good way. "The combination of danger and the promise of eternal love," says Noxon, "is very, very sexy."

What the heck is the WE? Is that one of the smaller cable channels?

When Interview With the Vampire came out, a friend and I went to see it (a lo, what a waste of time and hottiness -- Pitt, Banderas and Cruise in the same movie...but I digress). As we went in I was explaining to him that a lot of women find vampires sexy. I don't think he believed me, until two women walked by and one of them suggested that they get right up front so they could be next to the vampires.

(Edited to correct punctuation.)

Hoya Saxa's Favorite Buffy Episodes:

10. "Grave" -- The Catholic in me loved the Sarah McLaughlin song at the end of the maligned S6. I also liked the basic themes of redemption here, especially when it came to Willow. Seeing Spike get his soul back at the end was a nice touch. As much as S6 gets criticized, the Scoobies had to walk down the lonely path where even darkness hides. Excellent summation to the Despair! Buffy arc.

9. "Hush" -- In a show that is famous (infamous?) for its sharp and witty dialogue, the execution of the Hush episode was both a swashbuckling joy ride and a technical achievement. The facial expressions were some of the funniest I've ever seen in any show.

8. "The Gift" -- S5's finale could have fit just as well as a series finale. Buffy's great sacrifice to save Dawn (and the world) was fitting, a fate that illuminated the foreboding message of the First Slayer.

7. "Amends" -- A bit hokey in some respects, again the Catholic in me likes this S3 episode because it deals with Angel fighting and overcoming temptation. Plus, we got a first glimpse of the FE.

6. "Prophecy Girl" -- The S1 finale was great, and as I like to repeat endlessly, provided us with the Crisis of the Slayer Succession that resulted inevitably to the rise and death of Kendra and the ascension of Dark Slayer (presently seeking redemption) Faith. I too have fruit punch mouth.

5. "Surprise/Innocence" -- The decisive, bold and daring beginning to the Angelus arc of S2 will stand as one of the best television episodes in history. Whedon set Buffy apart from the pack with this wonderfully tragic twist of fate.

4. "Passion" -- I think this is one of the most visceral episodes in the series. The searing malevolence of Angelus when he mercilessly killed Jenny Calender was matched by the unspoken anger manifested by Giles. The flaming baseball bat scene is still one of my all-time favorites.

3. "Graduation Day 1 and 2" -- S3's climactic showdown doesn't quite measure up to the masterpiece of S2's finale, but it was a worthy entry in the Buffy mythos. I too began to count down from 7-3-0 in this rambunctious showdown. As doors closed on Sunnydale High, new paths opened for our protagonists. We see Cordelia slay, Wesley opting to stand with Angel in battle, and Buffy skilfully defeating the Mayor.

2. "Once More, With Feeling" -- I was in Heaven... Again, as with Hush, a tremendous technical achievement based on a fresh premise. No other dramatic show can carry off a musical with the same credibility as Whedon did. Solid A+ performance.

1. "Becoming, Pts. 1 and 2" -- "Kick his ass.." The series finale is going to have to work hard to outdo the best Buffy episodes. Ever. Everything Buffy stands for -- everything she is -- is tested in her showdown with Angelus. She makes the "right" choice by sending him to Hell, but it her despair is sincere. Seeing Spike get up from his wheelchair to disable Drusilla was goose-bumpy stuff. Plus, this episode laid a quiet, subtle seed of doubt that would come back in S7. Remember Xander's infamous line about Willow's supposed message to Buffy? I love how that came up again this season.

That's my take. Feel free to discuss! :)

WE stands for Women's Entertainment (I think) and I also think it's a channel owned by Lifetime or started by Lifetime--some kind of movie channel but I'm not sure.

I have a bad feeling (based on nothing but Joss being big with the pain) that many beloved characters will die in the finale. Which, I can accept on an artistic level, but if I'm right is going to be very allergy inducing (quite apart from the Last Buffy Ever thing).

I like HoyaSaxa's way of listing, because I don't split up the double episodes; they're one. You can't make me choose between Becoming parts, dammit! *shaky fist*

(edited because although the episodes I don't split, the commas, I do splice)

I want what Steph wants, mostly. Except that I think a Slayer will have to die to redress the balance of Good and Evil.

Might as well be Buffy, since it doesn't sound like SMG wants to come back for guest appearances or sequels.

And then a suddenly serene and beautiful Amanda picks up the sword dropped by the painfully and thoroughly dead Kennedy...nah, I ask too much there.

I especially like the idea of the Scoobies (and Giles, since he's back to himself) forming a more egalitarian Council, although since we know that in the Frayverse they've degenerated into babbling idiots who have made a religion/fetish out of their duties in only two centuries when the original lasted 5000 years, maybe that's not such a great thing after all.

I especially like the idea of the Scoobies (and Giles, since he's back to himself) forming a more egalitarian Council

And one where they all wear squeaky shoes.

Puppet Show.

The Weight of the World.

Into the Woods.

As You Were.

Each of these episodes have redeeming points in my mind that will let me view them over and over again and still enjoy them. I think "WotW" is my favorite of that list followed by the classic "Puppet Show". Im not gonna argue the "AYW" because if I were to make a list of every episodes it would probably be at the bottom.

Seems like I am the only one in the world that like "WotW", ill defend it if need be. But it should be pointed out that I believe that Scott Weiland doesn't do drugs anymore so I have therefore been labeled dilusional by some.