Trudy, JenK can tell us why she got unhappy and left. JohnH can tell us why he left ... and so on. If they haven't, we're just engaging in gossip and speculation. Or vague references, which we can't use to learn from.

So what's the point?

Trudy, No one is saying that. They are just trying not to put words in other people's mouths or guess what they might feel. It is a good thing.

So people should make "I'm leaving and not coming back and here's why" statements before we'll discuss their departures? And that discussion would be anything other than "boy, that was childish?"

Here's an idea, go back and look at Elena's posts. She's not coming back for a good long time if ever.

Also, Jen was fairly upfront about saying that she didn't fault Allyson for expressing herself the way she did. So if we're going to keep referencing it, maybe we could at least include that as a disclaimer.

So people should make "I'm leaving and not coming back and here's why" statements before we'll discuss their departures? And that discussion would be anything other than "boy, that was childish?"

Here's an idea, go back and look at Elena's posts. She's not coming back for a good long time if ever.

If they want to, sure. It's up to them. If they don't, I am not going to say I know why they left.

eta: I am sorry Elena left. I wish she hadn't. I don't know what that has to do with Jen's leaving though.

Trudy, if you have the facts about JenK, share them, and convince us why you know the truth.

Except I don't really want to say that, because I don't think it's your place, and that it's incredibily rude to pretend it is.

If what Elena posted is her explaining why she's never coming back, then voila! No hearsay, actual evidence.

I can't believe I'm having to take a stand against talking behind someone's back in public about something so sensitive and personal.

Where is that polite?

I'm with ita.

I don't really know why JenK left, anymore than I know why John H left. If they wanted me to know, they'd have told me.

They didn't, therefore it's not my business.

Nor yours, to tell me.

What. ita. said.

Trudy, unless JenK or anyone else asked me to speak for them, I would feel uncomfortable using them and their feelings to bolster an argument,
even if I knew what those feelings were. I think you are being honest here and I admire that, but it does involve speaking for someone else, and about a subject that is painful for them. I think there is too much possibilty of misspeaking and even MORE hurt feelings there.

OK, here's the deal: I intended only to take a few days' break, for deep breathing and to stop feeling crappy/hurt/guilty/etc. What ended up happening is much as Kat suggests; a combination of meatspace things followed hard on the heels of that day, none of which have anything to do with the board at all[1]. They, far more than anything else, have kept me away and will almost certainly continue to do so for the forseeable future.

So there it is, straight from the horse's mouth. I haven't read more than the last 20 or so preceding posts, so I have no idea how or if I'm relevant to the discussion at hand, but I hope this information is helpful somehow.

Also, my profile email address is good and I would love to hear from anyone with the inclination to be in touch, about this or just to say hello.

[1] In brief: I got a divorce. 80-90 hours of classes/labs/studying/clinicals per week is pretty standard right now. I've been feeling a bit crappy MS-wise. Yeah, and there's that whole divorce thing.