Oh, I dunno. I'm perfectly glad to respect Rafmun's decision to move on. I am not moving on, because we have some important community stuff under discussion, as painful as that can be.

(In other words, Rafmun? You want to move on, just quit posting on the subject. People might just think you were "unduly influencing" things by trying to make us stop now that you don't want to talk about it any more.)

You don't get to let the monkey out of the cage and then walk off saying "I'm tired of the monkey, can we please talk about something else?"

yeah, he can. It's his choice.

He can say it, but it doesn't mean the topic should be changed because he wants it to be.

I, for instance, would like him to go away. But that doesn't mean he will.

People might just think you were "unduly influencing" things by trying to make us stop now that you don't want to talk about it any more.

Yup, and then people will equate you with me, and that's the fucking kiss of death.

The circumstances that prompted John H. to leave don't seem relevant to Rafmun's contention. He chose to because he had badgered Schmoker. IIRC, he acknowledged that.

Thanks for the clarification, Shawn.

Oddly, Megan, I've been here for this whole discussion and I don't remember any concrete examples being offered up. Care to Nilly them for me?

As Dana said Jen K and John H have both left. msbelle has noted that she had left for a few months and Karl posted himself that he has moved on due to board issues. Cindy has left as well. Newbie beej is now gone, possibly dissuading other lurkers from posting. We're not to know, but there are over 1000 registered participants here. Personally, I have cut back my posting because I either am afraid to post, or feel ignored. Maybe that's my failing, I'm happy to acknowledge it, so I'm ready to move on.

Defending feelings is really draining.

I respect Numfar's right to pull out of the discussion when it no longer feels profitable to him. And honestly, a bunch of citations would get us nothing other than a couple thousand posts of people getting pissy with each other.

But I would ask that in the future, when someone feels a poster is out of line, they email them or ask them to clarify in-thread. Letting it fester until it turns into a percieved pattern does not seem like the greatest option.

(And I HOPE I'm not seen as a pushy poster. Suspect I may be. Ah well, life goes on.)

Seany, hating to disagree with you, but yeah, he can. It's his choice. Just like everything here is a choice. :)

Yeah, I meant what Steph said, Aims. Rafmun, I take it back, you're more than welcome to move on, however, we are more than welcome to continue talking about it. What I meant was that you don't get to tell any of us what to talk about or how to talk about it, which is what it feels like you've been trying to do since yesterday.

I mean really, it sounds like what Rafmun really wants is to be put in charge of the board, and be able to dictate who gets to talk about what, and who gets to be here and who doesn't.

I mean really, it sounds like what Rafmun really wants is to be put in charge of the board, and be able to dictate who gets to talk about what, and who gets to be here and who doesn't.

Easiest way to do that would be to start his own board. IJS.

it sounds like what Rafmun really wants is to be put in charge of the board, and be able to dictate who gets to talk about what, and who gets to be here and who doesn't.

I don't get that from him.

I get someone who made a bunch of big allegations and didn't want to take the responsibility for defending them so he reacted to questioning with more big allegations, which is not a great behavioral pattern, but I don't think he wants to be Board Dictator.

Newbie beej is now gone, possibly dissuading other lurkers from posting. We're not to know, but there are over 1000 registered participants here.

Every single open Internet forum, from message boards to mailing lists to Usenet groups, has more lurkers than posters. If it's a flaw, it's a flaw in the nature of Internet forums, not a flaw specific to the Phoenix; and I am not convinced it's a flaw rather than human nature.

Citing silence as support is not a convincing rhetorical strategy.

Defending feelings is really draining.

If they'd be presented as feelings rather than objective observations by the initial poster, considerably less defense would have been required.