bitch-slapping a newbie with promises of future fit-in-ingness

Is that in any way related to what I wrote? I believe I suggested that you meet people half-way.

In the spirit of Elena's suggestion that one ask for clarification before going off half-cocked, I am asking you to clarify just what the cited sentence fragment is a response to.

Edited on thread-reread: This appears to be in response to Wolfram's suggestion that Rafmun take some time in the other threads. But it sure didn't read like 'bitch-slapping' to me. And to be honest, the inflammatory rhetoric is beginning to wear on me. I welcome alternative interpretations, especially ones that lead me away from further inflammation.

Flashback to Monday - 800 posts ago. Beej - remember her? I contacted her yesterday, Um, supported her in email, yep. I wanted to get her reaction to the Bureacracy discussion about her, so I sent her the link. She gave me permission to post her reaction here. I decided instead to put it on an offsite page. Cause, it's Beej, you know - lots of words.

Quick Q&A:
Is she coming back? No.
How did she take the criticism? Pretty well, I'd say. She accepts that she just doesn't fit here.
Am I gonna track down every person that leaves the board in a huff from now on, and invite them back? God, I hope not. This had better be the exception.

If you've had enough of Beej, or are content with her last post here being her last word, then move on. Nothing more to see here.

If you're interested in reading our conversation, it's here. I've made a few edits to both my e-mails and her responses.

If you think I'm foolish, have misrepresented the board, or just want to rip me a new one over this, feel free. Profile addy is good if you want to keep it out of Bureau.

>bitch-slapping a newbie with promises of future fit-in-ingness

Is that in any way related to what I wrote? I believe I suggested that you meet people half-way.

Wasn't in response to you. I liked what you wrote a great deal - even the parts critical of my style and going-to-far-edness.

[Edited to delete continued discussion of moot points.]

Thanks for posting that bicyclops.

She accepts that she just doesn't fit here.

I think that sums it up. I'm not convinced we did anything wrong.

bicyclops, thanks for posting that.

How could I like posting here in any form if I really hated David, Plei and ita,

I have a point here, and it kind of relates to tone. For a long time I was absolutely convinced ita hated me, because it seemed to me like she challenged everything I said in an abrasive way. And it was a factor when I decided to cut waaaay back on the time I spent here a few years back.

I finally figured out that she pretty much challenges everyone in about the same tone, but it took me a while to get there.

(And ita, if you do hate me, please don't let me know, for that would make me cry. Thank you.)

And I agree that there is tone online, and also that it's better to ask "I'm sorry, did you mean _____?" before assuming someone meant _______.

Wasn't in response to you.

Ah, good to see that it was just my late-night crack smoking. Sorry for the feather-ruffling.

Wasn't in response to you.

Who was it in response to?

Karl, bebe, I'm so happy to see you. Even if a kerfuffle had to bring you out.

bicyclops, thank you.

I would like to reiterate a position that a lot of people have taken: that we do not slap down newbies willy-nilly. A lot of people have delurked and fit in just fine without a belly-flop in the guac. Some people have delurked straight into the guac, some people have hung about for a bit and tripped over the guac, and some people have set up the damned party and still managed to get guac all over their dress recently.

Yes, we as a group are less able to understand people we do not know, and yes, I think the burden of fitting in lies mostly on the new person. And yes, I think we could all benefit from taking a moment to think every time we post. But it ain't always gonna happen.

The incident that seems to have set this off is one of about 5 that has occured over the life of this board. Considering the number of people out there on the vast Interweb and the culture of this board (I'm including the culture as it was in The Good Old Days), I think it's a pretty good ratio.

Ah, good to see that it was just my late-night crack smoking.

If you don't bring enough to share with the entire group....

If you don't bring enough to share with the entire group....

See, I don't think of this so much as monkey-grooming as lemur-grooming.