Look! There's Bishop Brennan. Go kick him up the arse!

I'd like to think that you'd have given the benefit of this particular doubt to a new poster as well.

Maybe, maybe not. There'd be a larger context in which it all lived.

Fact is, that if I had no subtext, you just offended me. Fact #2 is, I don't think Elena would do this intentionally. And I would never have brought it up, except I thought it was a good example for the topic at hand.

Someone right in off the street? I may ask for clarification, but that would be after I got offended. That's how close the subtext lies to your text.

I like to think I have a fair amount of the milk of human kindness. Some days, it's just the whey of scrolling past. The more "benefit of doubt" I have to apply to an unknown, the less I'm getting to know them, and there's a relationship not made.

Intentional or not, you are coming across as incredibly patronizing and arrogant.

Maybe to you he is. He is to some others. He isn't to me. He isn't to several people.

I like to think I have a fair amount of the milk of human kindness.

Hear, hear, if only because I like to think I know where ita is exercising a degree of discretion. As a side-note, in describing ita to Bob, he compared her to Wild Bill Hickok on Deadwood. I don't watch the show, so I don't know if the comparison is apt.

Intentional or not, you are coming across as incredibly patronizing and arrogant.

I tried hard not to be that, but really, that's not the issue. Me and my arrogance aside - there still remain more than a few long-termers who stood up and said 'me too' to at least some of what I observed, and others who added much of their own concerns and observations. What of them? Surely they're not arrogant and patronizing too for feeling similarly, are they? Is there any way to not seem arrogant and patronizing when asking that the board become a little more hospitable and considerate of others, and that bullying and piling on be less rewarded?

Someone right in off the street? I may ask for clarification, but that would be after I got offended. That's how close the subtext lies to your text.

I absolutely see that. And I'm, of course, not saying that you shouldn't be offended. But I am saying that your next post shouldn't be along the lines of 'you fucking asshole, how dare you'... You'd either ignore or ask for clarification.

I just don't see why the base assumption on the part of the reader shouldn't be on the side of benignity instead of malice. Mind you, this is with a newish poster. If it's someone you have a history with - positive or negative - of course that goes into the equation. But right off the bat to assume that someone is an asshole and reply accordingly? Makes for unpleasantness.

more than a few long-termers who stood up and said 'me too' to at least some of what I observed, and others who added much of their own concerns and observations. What of them? Surely they're not arrogant and patronizing too for feeling similarly, are they?

Nope.

Is there any way to not seem arrogant and patronizing when asking that the board become a little more hospitable and considerate of others, and that bullying and piling on be less rewarded?

Yup.

But right off the bat to assume that someone is an asshole and reply accordingly?

Right off the bat I assume they meant what they said. That's different from assuming they are an asshole, since it's dependent on their choices.

Nope.

Good, then perhaps we can agree to dislike me, and move on to trying to address the situation which makes those posters feel less than welcome. That would be good. That would be nice. That would be like Mountain Dew on a hot summer's night.... well, for those that like Mountain Dew, and don't mind the heat.

Maybe to you he is. He isn't to me. He isn't to several people.

Ditto, or like, Word, eh? I don't think of Rafmun as anything like a noob whatsoever, in spite of his occasional usage of Buffista-incorrect terms. He's been officially out as a Buffista for a couple of months and he's married to a Buffista. Not in a, oh, "he tolerates her wacky internet thing" kind of way, but in a "the Atlantic Canadians use their board for things like planning lunch and discussing Everything" kind of way. He isn't a noob in the sense that I think of someone new to a community. Now, I haven't been here a year yet, but I feel a sense of belonging as an old Bronze semi-lurker who knew folks here, so I may well be out of step.