Unless there is a point of discussion to actually vote on, big things should not be changing. The things being discusseed recently seem mostly about personal conduct. While possibly interesting to discuss and debate, it is not something that is going to be regulated, enforced or controlled anymore than is already set out in our pretty basic rules. Could soem people be more pleasant? In my opinion, yes. Does that matter? No.

If anyone has a problem with a specific poster or the specfic handling of an issue, they really have to speak up. And if they think it is something that should be acted upon, the need to go through the mess (a mess I helped set up) of suggesting a vote and seeing if others support them.

If what we are talking about is people not liking others. Well, yeah, it happens, a LOT. I want a filter, I want one real bad, it would make my time here more pleasant. Other people would be much happier here if I stopped posting altogether. Neither one of those is a reality yet, so people need to skim and skip.

My last point has been stated by others, but I feel it needs to be restated. No one will die if they stop posting here. I have left boards. I have left here for a a period of months. We all have emails, many have ljs. If people cannot skim, if they cannot keep themselves from going into threads that get them upset angry or both, then maybe they need to take a break. The internet is a big place, there is a lot out there.

Some folks seem to think the board is particularly tense right now, but I've seen it go through much edgier times than this.

Oh hells yes. The "tone" discussion has been, for the most part, a non-kerfuffle. The disciplinary discussions (back when I was still lurking) were so much worse. I think we did lose a few people at that point, but it was a necessary evil to get those rules hashed out. I, for one, am glad they are in place.

for those few posters whose wills are more often reflected in the direction the board takes.

The direction the board takes is almost entirely dependent on the content of the posts. What gets decided in bureaucracy now is generally limited to adding threads or discipline. The biggest cultural change this board weathered was adding voting - and that was in response to people feeling left out of the decision making, and it was a long, tedious, difficult, parliamentary discussion. But it was instituted and now even the soft-spoken can have their interests addressed.

Anybody is free to bring an issue up for a vote if they want to change the direction of the board. If a majority of registered Buffistas agrees with that change they can bring it into being. Even the lurkers.

Allyson could have been raised in my family. We thrive on healthy, heated debates. And we still love each other when we're not shooting daggers across the dinner table. YDefinitionofComfortableMV.

YDefinitionofComfortableMV.

THIS!

Give me a tsunami. If I want a warm bath, I'll hang out at the Well. Spirited debate MY ASS.

If I leave because I'm bored, is that any better or worse than someone leaving because they're stressed? It's still losing a member of the community due to social change.

It's always such a matter of perspective. Some folks seem to think the board is particularly tense right now, but I've seen it go through much edgier times than this.

Perhaps this is because things have improved and all is roses and honey.

Or perhaps it is because a few very prolific and increasingly agressive posters have succeeded in marginalizing some very long-term members who were happy to engage in productive and constructive discussion when it was truly about give-and-take, but who became frustrated that their willingness to concede points and move to compromise seemed increasingly exploited to satisfy the few, to the point where they just don't bother even debating much anymore b/c they see the conclusion as forgone anyway.

Either option produces a board that seems less tense. But if there is any truth to the latter, at what cost?

Despite my posting her recently, I hate the confrontation and I dislike heated debate. But until people get insulting I can usually deal.

Or perhaps it is because a few very prolific and increasingly agressive posters have succeeded in marginalizing some very long-term members who were happy to engage in productive and constructive discussion when it was truly about give-and-take, but who became frustrated that their willingness to concede points and move to compromise seemed increasingly exploited to satisfy the few, to the point where they just don't bother even debating much anymore b/c they see the conclusion as forgone anyway.

Wow. I mean, it's possible I'm blind to the truth, but I have no idea who you're talking about here. If you're not talking about anyone in particular, I'm perfectly willing to discount what you're saying. If there are actual people who feel this way, I'd like to know who they are.

I'm an activist poster and I don't have a problem with that. I have no issues with coming here with a request for change or a request for how things are done.

Maybe I'm wrong, but isn't that what Bureau is for?

I'd argue everyone who posts in Bureau is an activist poster because they are taking action in how they want the community to run. Why is that a bad thing?

Sure. I impose my will. But if I don't, then I am in situation where I want to leave. If I find something annoying, the point where I want to do or say something really regrettable and I ask for a change in behavior, why is that a bad thing?

Is the response to just leave better?

I care about this community. I have opinions on how it should run. And I am not afraid or shamed into admitting it, nor am I particularly concerned with being perceived as an activist.

Some of my heroes are activists too.

I do not like confrontation either. when I posted here yesterday, I had to think, debate and consider whether it was a good idea to hit the Post message button, fearing that I what I'm saying might be taken the wrong way or anger someone. I'm not as strong willed as some, nor do I just shake off criticism. My feelings are easily hurt so I bite my tongue (fingers?) more often than I contribute.