Allyson could have been raised in my family. We thrive on healthy, heated debates. And we still love each other when we're not shooting daggers across the dinner table. YDefinitionofComfortableMV.

YDefinitionofComfortableMV.

THIS!

Give me a tsunami. If I want a warm bath, I'll hang out at the Well. Spirited debate MY ASS.

If I leave because I'm bored, is that any better or worse than someone leaving because they're stressed? It's still losing a member of the community due to social change.

It's always such a matter of perspective. Some folks seem to think the board is particularly tense right now, but I've seen it go through much edgier times than this.

Perhaps this is because things have improved and all is roses and honey.

Or perhaps it is because a few very prolific and increasingly agressive posters have succeeded in marginalizing some very long-term members who were happy to engage in productive and constructive discussion when it was truly about give-and-take, but who became frustrated that their willingness to concede points and move to compromise seemed increasingly exploited to satisfy the few, to the point where they just don't bother even debating much anymore b/c they see the conclusion as forgone anyway.

Either option produces a board that seems less tense. But if there is any truth to the latter, at what cost?

Despite my posting her recently, I hate the confrontation and I dislike heated debate. But until people get insulting I can usually deal.

Or perhaps it is because a few very prolific and increasingly agressive posters have succeeded in marginalizing some very long-term members who were happy to engage in productive and constructive discussion when it was truly about give-and-take, but who became frustrated that their willingness to concede points and move to compromise seemed increasingly exploited to satisfy the few, to the point where they just don't bother even debating much anymore b/c they see the conclusion as forgone anyway.

Wow. I mean, it's possible I'm blind to the truth, but I have no idea who you're talking about here. If you're not talking about anyone in particular, I'm perfectly willing to discount what you're saying. If there are actual people who feel this way, I'd like to know who they are.

I'm an activist poster and I don't have a problem with that. I have no issues with coming here with a request for change or a request for how things are done.

Maybe I'm wrong, but isn't that what Bureau is for?

I'd argue everyone who posts in Bureau is an activist poster because they are taking action in how they want the community to run. Why is that a bad thing?

Sure. I impose my will. But if I don't, then I am in situation where I want to leave. If I find something annoying, the point where I want to do or say something really regrettable and I ask for a change in behavior, why is that a bad thing?

Is the response to just leave better?

I care about this community. I have opinions on how it should run. And I am not afraid or shamed into admitting it, nor am I particularly concerned with being perceived as an activist.

Some of my heroes are activists too.

I do not like confrontation either. when I posted here yesterday, I had to think, debate and consider whether it was a good idea to hit the Post message button, fearing that I what I'm saying might be taken the wrong way or anger someone. I'm not as strong willed as some, nor do I just shake off criticism. My feelings are easily hurt so I bite my tongue (fingers?) more often than I contribute.

Hey all. Just dropping in to say Hi. Sounds like acrimony is in the air.

I was just thinking about you the other day, Phill! How the hell are ya?

Megan, do you often wish someone else would make your point? I mean, much of the time if I wait before commenting, someone else makes my point, and I feel fine about not putting my 2 cents in. Is that your experience as well? (Seriously, I'm just wondering what the experience of less loud-mouthed people is. Because god knows, nine out of ten times, I make my own point.)