think I'd be a lot harder on ita or Kat or Kristen on the board if they pissed me off here than I would on some newbie. Because that would actually hurt, you know?

I do. That's what I meant by:

It's also useful to not cut them slack when they're are being an asshat.

YAY! 2 clicks up! ALthough, does that imply that I don't normally give reasonable responses? *wink*

Thanks for the cites guys. Kat, I think you were memfault. When you explained social capital in that discussion, I remember something just clicking in my head.

Although it did take several more months until I stopped spending it all in one place.

Not that this has anything to do with sockpuppetry, but

People don't lose anything by speaking their mind in a reasonable way, or disagreeing with the majority opinion. I don't think less of somebody because they have opinions about cheese which differ from my own.

This. I continue to be discomfited whenever anyone says they feel like they can't say what they think here. Saying what you think is not the same thing as being rude. Of course I bite my tongue sometimes, and sometimes don't feel like getting into something, but I never feel like I can't say what I think, UNLESS what I really think is, "Dude, you fucking suck, Just STFU already." Because that's unnecessarily rude and therefore inappropriate in a community I want to continue to be a part of.

This thoughtful discussion of social capital has opened a wound I thought was healed.

The last time I focused on the term was pretty much a year ago when its sharp end was pointed at me. In a kerfuffle over my many sins, including:

• being too helpful
• not framing a cut/paste post properly
• referencing a 'tell us about you' question with a link to my site (spamming, it was called)
• others I'm sure I perpetrated but weren't pointed out

Honestly, I didn't think I was any more or less anything than anyone else, but what I was was relatively new. And my social capital account didn't even qualify for free checking.

Even leaving to lick my wounds and then coming back for what I find wonderful about this place and skimming over the rest, I still feel like I have no capital...a year into it.

Every group has a hierarchy...that's just human, I think. And I'm okay with mine here...and grateful for a lesson mentioned up thread...

t watch me slide back on topic after a hopefully forgivable mememe

Just because there are in-jokes like sock puppets or long-shared experiences I can never be part of, I know the joke isn't necessarily ON me...and the things I have NOT shared, do not diminish what I can enjoy/contribute here.

While I don't love sock puppets just because I'm some times too dim to get the joke, I have not (so far) seen them used in malice.

In fact, I've never actually seen malice here. Rudeness? sure. Misplaced anger? you betcha. And maybe there actually have been 'bad' people participating, but boy, I haven't seen them.

With gobs and gobs of respect for everyone's feelings on the topic, it seems that what fear we give life and sock puppets don't feel to me to deserve fear or loathing. When there is so much ELSE in the world to bestow those gifts upon.

t /too many words

being too helpful

You bitch!

Though actually I remember that. FWIW, I'm glad you came back to us, Beej.

Thanks for making me cry David. bastaaahd!

I am too.

Even leaving to lick my wounds and then coming back for what I find wonderful about this place and skimming over the rest, I still feel like I have no capital...a year into it.

You've got a healthy-sized account with me, Beej. And thanks for the helpful advice.

Thanks. Much appreciated.

And tons of getting something even greater than you can imagine vibage to you.

See, in my mind, I thought, I will post, "You know, Beej, we're cool. For the record." But then I figured you already knew that and I didn't want to derail the conversation. Then it happened anyway, so hey. We're cool, Beej. For serious.

Actually, what the hell? I don't matter. I wasn't even there when whatever happened happened.

"You know, Beej, we're cool. For the record."

You would have said this then, ya mean?

You came on the scene...with no quac diving...almost immediately after. Nicely done.

eta: Okay, I meant to reference 'guacamole', not some unused four letter word which could mean the sound a duck makes under water...or something.