Here is your cup of coffee.  Brewed from the finest Colombian lighter fluid.

Xander ,'Chosen'

Voting Discussion: We're Screwing In Light Bulbs AIFG!  

We open it up, we talks the talk, we votes, we shuts it down. This thread is to free up Bureaucracy for daily details as we hammer out the Big Issues towards a vote. Open only when a proposal has been made and seconded according to Buffista policy (Which we voted on!). If this thread is closed, hie thee to Bureaucracy instead!

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Zenkitty - Dec 08, 2020 6:49:10 pm PST #10285 of 10289
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.

With a group this large and diverse (we are not homogenous, not really, even though most of us seem to be pretty liberal), there's no way we're going to avoid ever hurting or getting hurt. I don't think anyone should NOT speak up, but we can't expect people not to get hurt or not to be offended or not to hurt. Impact may trump intent, but intent does matter. Talking it out, in the spirit of knowing that none of us intends to hurt one another, is the only way to deal with it, short of people just leaving, which no one wants.

But I don't see how having a special thread meant to educate people in isn't going to turn into a penalty box. I think the idea is that people would want to go there to learn about how they affected someone in a spirit of embracing growth, but I just don't think that's how most people would respond to being directed to the hurt-feelings-discussion room. Especially not in the heat of a painful emotional moment.

We're a found family, for some of us an intentionally created family. Nobody can hurt you like family can. Sometimes you talk it out and hug it out in an intentional embrace of the pain and the knowledge that our relationship is worth the pain. And sometimes you keep quiet and live with resentment forever, which... yeah, I don't recommend it. I wish I knew how to keep anyone from ever getting hurt again, but my origin family is pretty damn dysfunctional, so all I've really got is awareness of how it goes wrong. I'd really rather this family didn't.

Long post, considering I meant to not say anything.

edit: I took so long to post it, it may not even matter anymore.

Topic!Cindy - Dec 08, 2020 7:02:44 pm PST #10286 of 10289
What is even happening?

sj, since Glamcookie withdrew her proposal, I'm going to reply to you in Bureaucracy.

JZ - Dec 08, 2020 7:15:52 pm PST #10287 of 10289
See? I gave everybody here an opportunity to tell me what a bad person I am and nobody did, because I fuckin' rule.

moved to follow the conversation to Bureaucracy

DavidS - Dec 08, 2020 8:24:35 pm PST #10288 of 10289
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."

I took so long to post it, it may not even matter anymore.

It mattered to me.

Laura - Dec 09, 2020 5:44:00 am PST #10289 of 10289
"Against all evidence, I keep thinking the assholes are outliers." - James Holden

I took so long to post it, it may not even matter anymore.

It mattered to me as well. Thank you.

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