Mmm, black raspberry ice cream is my New England summer treat. I miss it.

As for college, I started by going to a school 6 hours from home, had to transfer to a school 2 hours from home (which means I got to bring my laundry home occasionally), and then when to law school at the far end of the country. Some of that was to get away from my folks, but also just to go somewhere! Far away!

I moved 1500 miles away for college. From San Diego to Spokane. Pretty much as far as I could go while still remaining on the west side of the country.

Then it was to Los Angeles to start grad school, and finally out to Cincinnati for the last two years of grad.

finally out to Cincinnati for the last two years of grad.

My kneejerk response is "Why would you come here?" before I remember, right, CCM, which is actually a fantastic reason to come here.

I’m fond of snapdragon apples when I can get them, for eating from hand. Granny Smith apples are my go-to for cooking,

I went to college about an hour and a half from my parents. Mostly because it was a good college at the time, but also I didn’t hate getting a little distance.

So, as I watched the Trump horror show roll out I kept saying, "Well, we just have to see if he's going to completely disobey the courts, because that's a Constitutional Crisis and that's what dictators do."

Dictators, of course, also disappear people to concentration camps.

I wonder what we do next. I have been idly thinking on how to booby trap my front steps in a Home Alone fashion should ICE come knocking but that that's only satisfying to contemplate in a slapstick way.

It's weird to me to be doing normal things in a constitutional crisis/authoritarian takeover. Like, this morning I went in to get my teeth cleaned like I do every 6 months, after which I logged on to work at the job I've had since the Obama administration, in the home office I've worked from since March 2020. It's just too ordinary! I feel like I should be, I dunno, putting up barricades or living out in the woods with my band of partisans, as useless as my middle-aged asthmatic self would be at any of that, and, you know, despite the fact this isn't 19th century Paris or 20th century Europe. But those are the mental scripts I have!

It's weird to me to be doing normal things in a constitutional crisis/authoritarian takeover.

That's the thing. It's happening. He's obviously going to keep going until something stops him and it's not the Supreme Court.

I don't really see him allowing the midterm elections without interference, or even leaving office.

Why would he?

He's played by the usual authoritarian handbook and he'll suspend elections because of "outside agitators" and "time of crisis."

Am I wrong? Defying the Supreme Court seems like he's crossed a Rubicon. There's no check on his power.

You're not wrong. I don't know what's going to happen anymore because reality keeps outdoing my pessimistic and overactive imagination.

I agree. I feel like openly defying the Supreme Court is really a huge step and seriously disturbing and frightening. I hate it here.

He's played by the usual authoritarian handbook and he'll suspend elections because of "outside agitators" and "time of crisis."

My recurring fear is that the only way he can stop elections is "time of war", and nuking Iran will accomplish that for him. Hello WWIII.

The first time around, my biggest personal concern was that it fundamentally changed the way I regarded my fellow citizens. I had never experienced that level of disgust (and a whole bunch of other negative emotions) with people I didn't even know. Seeing someone with a red hat or bumper sticker would bring pure anger. This was not Laura. I don't like that change in my core being.

This time around it is fear. Anger was easier. I have lived my life going with the flow. Nothing upsets me. I don't panic or worry. I've often been asked why I wasn't upset or completely freaked out by what life was handing me. I've always considered these emotions unproductive as they don't change the results. The example that comes to mind was decades ago when I was working as the office manager of a company going through bankruptcy negotiations with our biggest vendor taking over, and Steve was declining rapidly. I was in the coffee room joking around with the warehouse manager, pretending to flirt, as one does with coworkers you know are kidding. He turned serious and said he didn't know how I could keep it together with the office stress and Steve so critically ill. It was natural for me because getting upset never made things better.

At 71, this is the first time in my life when I am terrified and feel no control over my future. Yes, I can go wave signs at the Tesla dealership in Fort Lauderdale every weekend. I can call or write my representatives. It doesn't matter. I am paralyzed with a sense of hopelessness. I'm trying to proceed with normalcy in life. Shiny new nails, my sister's 75th birthday, seeing friends and family. Yet underneath the panic is there, where it never has resided previously.

Yeah, so there is my spill of the morning. Guess I better drink some more coffee and maybe get dressed before noon.