That is hard and worrisome, PM. With the bulk of Boomers getting ready to retire and eventually need care, I hope population forces will make the US come up with a reasonably humane solution by the time we need it.

The bulk of Boomers are already at or past retirement age! Sadly, I don't expect to see a solution in the near future. Or even by the time Gen X is ready for the retirement home.

As she had a decent nest egg and a good financial services dude to manage things, I'm currently despairing over a: ever retiring; b: the issues around my parents and siblings WRT money and everything else

My mom and stepdad are in great shape financially (they're leaving for Scotland in 2 weeks, because they are by god going to travel until they're unable to) (which I totally support!), so I don't worry about them. My dad is a hot goddamn mess who I honestly thought would have been dead by now. I didn't think he'd make it to 72 and the old man is 82 and going strong. He has zero retirement plan, and zero funds to make a retirement plan. Best-case scenario, he can move in with my aunt, if she doesn't die first.

My parents are doing ok. I'm not worried about my dad financially. A little more about Mom in terms of what they will need for long term care, they are both retired.

I'm at the point where I don't think retirement is something I would be able to do. I'll be working full time in my 70s because ....not much in savings, I only have a solid work history for the last decade and my 6 years at Belk was my longest time working at any one place. I have to figure out what is going on with my 401K situation. I've been taking a kind of Don't Think About It Too Hard approach because otherwise I tend to start spiraling.

Just got the first hummingbird of the season!

My mom and stepdad are in great shape financially (they're leaving for Scotland in 2 weeks, because they are by god going to travel until they're unable to) (which I totally support!), so I don't worry about them.

Not to freak you out, but P's grandmother was in great shape financially! The nest egg, it was a large one, and she's very frugal. Then she outlived her finances (hastened by the kind of health expenses that pile up after 95--recovering from breaking her hip last year cost a lot out of pocket, recent dental emergencies took their toll, etc.). That said, independent living retirement care here is $$$$$.

(Assisted living, obviously, is even worse. When I ran the numbers, if we were able to get my parents into assisted living, it would be about $132,000 a year for both of them. I try very hard not to think about this, though I guess that the silver lining to both my crazy siblings living in my childhood home with them is that there are so many obstacles to it that getting them into it is a complete pipe dream.)

Just got the first hummingbird of the season!

A great good sign!

I've always felt fortunate that I didn't have to care for a parent in dementia, nor have to worry about assisted living situations. On the other hand, my mom died when she was 50 and my dad died in his 70s, so no parents left, and now my sister is gone too.

So my family is my kids and my niece and nephew and their kids. And to a lesser extent Jacqueline's sibs, kids and mom. EM too. Jacqueline's brothers are already taking over care of JZ's mother, so that won't fall to me.

My niece has finished her Death Doula certification (she's already a RN), and setting up her practice. We joked that if her business card was accurate it would read "Crusty Old Swamp Witch Will Help You Die."

Then she outlived her finances to

This is why I’m looking at a continuous care retirement place with a buy in. If my finances run out they will still keep me. The issue will be having enough to qualify. I actually spoke with the guy with my IRAs and we’re going to meet about that soon and figure out 1) can I do it 2) how much I need to start saving if so.

I know I can’t afford the place my parents are in in CA as things stand now, but I bet the places in MD are a bit cheaper and honestly if I have to move to a location with lower cost of living I will absolutely do it.

Post Deleted!

This is why I’m looking at a continuous care retirement place with a buy in. If my finances run out they will still keep me.

This is what we did for my mom, and it's ether that or retiring abroad for me (which is not at all out of the question -- my friend, Dave, and I have always talked about it... my husband can come, too. Or building the commune my friends and I always talk about.) She didn't run out of money, but if she had, they were obligated to keep providing care.

David, I've seen several posts recently from crafty people who have installed paper mache or crochet wasps nests to keep the real (very territorial) ones away.