My mom and stepdad are in great shape financially (they're leaving for Scotland in 2 weeks, because they are by god going to travel until they're unable to) (which I totally support!), so I don't worry about them.

Not to freak you out, but P's grandmother was in great shape financially! The nest egg, it was a large one, and she's very frugal. Then she outlived her finances (hastened by the kind of health expenses that pile up after 95--recovering from breaking her hip last year cost a lot out of pocket, recent dental emergencies took their toll, etc.). That said, independent living retirement care here is $$$$$.

(Assisted living, obviously, is even worse. When I ran the numbers, if we were able to get my parents into assisted living, it would be about $132,000 a year for both of them. I try very hard not to think about this, though I guess that the silver lining to both my crazy siblings living in my childhood home with them is that there are so many obstacles to it that getting them into it is a complete pipe dream.)

Just got the first hummingbird of the season!

A great good sign!

I've always felt fortunate that I didn't have to care for a parent in dementia, nor have to worry about assisted living situations. On the other hand, my mom died when she was 50 and my dad died in his 70s, so no parents left, and now my sister is gone too.

So my family is my kids and my niece and nephew and their kids. And to a lesser extent Jacqueline's sibs, kids and mom. EM too. Jacqueline's brothers are already taking over care of JZ's mother, so that won't fall to me.

My niece has finished her Death Doula certification (she's already a RN), and setting up her practice. We joked that if her business card was accurate it would read "Crusty Old Swamp Witch Will Help You Die."

Then she outlived her finances to

This is why I’m looking at a continuous care retirement place with a buy in. If my finances run out they will still keep me. The issue will be having enough to qualify. I actually spoke with the guy with my IRAs and we’re going to meet about that soon and figure out 1) can I do it 2) how much I need to start saving if so.

I know I can’t afford the place my parents are in in CA as things stand now, but I bet the places in MD are a bit cheaper and honestly if I have to move to a location with lower cost of living I will absolutely do it.

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This is why I’m looking at a continuous care retirement place with a buy in. If my finances run out they will still keep me.

This is what we did for my mom, and it's ether that or retiring abroad for me (which is not at all out of the question -- my friend, Dave, and I have always talked about it... my husband can come, too. Or building the commune my friends and I always talk about.) She didn't run out of money, but if she had, they were obligated to keep providing care.

David, I've seen several posts recently from crafty people who have installed paper mache or crochet wasps nests to keep the real (very territorial) ones away.

David, I've seen several posts recently from crafty people who have installed paper mache or crochet wasps nests to keep the real (very territorial) ones away.

I bet I could buy one from a craft person on Etsy!

I am still in the "La la la not time to think about it" stage of even vaguely thinking about retirement plans. Bluntly, our household is fucked. There's no such thing as retirement for freelance artists, and I know I'll eventually age out of tech.

And I KNOW part of this mindset is growing up poor, where planning for the future was not a thing. Getting through the month was a thing.

And I KNOW part of this mindset is growing up poor, where planning for the future was not a thing. Getting through the month was a thing.

This is still a big part of my psyche. I freak out at the idea of moving money -- that was budgeted for, and is *supposed* to be moved -- from checking into the retirement account, because it feels like then the money is gone forever. It's literally still our money; it's just in a different bucket. I'm still adjusting to having multiple buckets.

My rational brain is all, "Compound interest; right on," but my lizard brain wants to lie, Smaug-like, on top of a pile containing all of our money and hiss at anyone who wants to move any of it anywhere other than under my butt.

My retirement plans are pretty much hoping that a miracle will occur. I am still working on getting through the month being a consistent thing (I mean, it pretty much is but not without constantly thinking about it to make sure it happens). I do have an auto deduction going to a 401k but very likely not as much as would be wise.