I'm just dazed and numb and trying to put one foot in front of the other. Dog has pancreatitis, no surprise. Change to low fat diet and take a bunch of drugs, probiotics, etc. That was some distraction. Deleted most of my emails because I am on way too many news mailing lists. I did follow the link for Jon Stewart's message, and sobbed. So much for distraction.

It is all too much and I am so grateful to be here to mourn together. I get and know all the stuff about coping and grieving mechanisms, but right now I just want to not people at all.

I have to go see my brother at some point, because he is dying, but he has a huge banner on the front of his house that I just can't deal with right now. I know he is going to be in and out of the hospital and right now I think I will wait to visit him there instead.

In addition to everything else, I'm so pissed off about the Ohio results -- Sherrod Brown lost his seat, and people voted to keep gerrymandering (in a ballot issue that was deliberately worded in a really confusing way.)

Hil, I am pissed right along with you. The way Issue 1 was worded was so ridiculous. And I hate so much that Sherrod Brown lost his seat. I was glad the 2 tax renewal levies passed, though.

And Greg Landsman got reelected, so at least that's something. Though, considering Issue 1, who knows if that seat will even exist after the next redistricting.

If I didn't have you guys I think I would die.

I have so many queer, bi, transgendered, etc. among my family and friends.

I am also old. 69 in December, and I don't think the future is bright for old maids with or without cats. I am keeping myself numb with Prozac and Xanax, just to do my job,and still working full time because I do not have a retirement cushion.

When we figure out our actual closing date, I may start a "number of days until I get out of Texas" countdown.

I do not understand the states that vote down the abortion bans and then voted for him. I DO NOT GET IT.

I hate everything. I ate dinner, but I feel sick.

Unrelatedly Mac got sick today after I was home to get him lunch, so that was waiting for me to deal with and he also had a mishap getting from crutches to toilet in time, so there was pee all over the bathroom floor.

Poor Mac, been there! I hope you both have better days tomorrow.

I hope we all have better days tomorrow. I didn't sleep well last night, so after reading some delightfully pleasant Miss Percy's dragon adventures, I hope to sleep tonight and maybe be somewhat more functional tomorrow.

I had a lousy night of not mostly sleep. I was good and only read a book on paper with soothing music so avoided ramping up my anxiety with doomscrolling or screen time, but still.

Morning, all. I actually slept well, thank God and little fishies. I feel more emotionally stable today, but I can tell That Guy is going to be my Unpleasant Intrusive Thought for a while. That happened back in 2016 too.

...which reminds me, I got my passport back in 2017 or so, I should look into getting that renewed. Hang in there everyone.