Popping in to say hi and I CAN HAS LOCALISTAS. It feels so good just knowing i have multiple Buffistas in relative proximity.
They're helping but they're just working your last nerve at the same time!
I figured you could relate, Hec.
Haphazard mini-meara from memory: sending you and your dad love, Atropa.
Re: advanced directives, my brother went ahead and did all that stuff for himself after my mom died. I need to get on that after I settle in a little. I don't have a will or anything yet.
Deeply personal feminist rant ahoy.
Laura, i am specifically talking about Men Not Following Directions, and in this case three of the four were being paid money by me! To handle My Stuff. And the fourth was a neighbor who volunteered to help (and never listens. I was desperate, okay? I didn't think he could fuck up taking down curtains but he did). So yeah, this is a gendered thing.
Which was confirmed Saturday because my unloading crew was four women and one of the least toxic cis dudes I know, who i still had to check for talking over me.
As for the taking boxes off me, it is a bodily autonomy thing. If I am in bodily possession of an item you Do Not take it away from me without at least eye contact. I have had a heavy backpack ripped from my back when i was on stairs without asking permission which nearly subluxed my shoulder.
I have had Facilities employees take recycling bins from me. I have had bosses carry a ladder for me. Like, sweetie, it's my literal job. Trust that i can manage without you. Maybe try *asking* if I need help and then not asking if I'm sure ten times, because that strongly implies I don't know my own capabilities.
Women don't generally do that (though i have done it for other women and am working on not doing it) and some of the first carpenters I worked with, two crusty grumpy dudes in their 40s, didn't do that to me.
Hell, my most recent boss took me off helping move a scaffold full of very heavy lumber instead of his son. Who had just run over his own foot because he didn't listen to his dad's instructions to go slow. Never mind that I have been doing this for decades and P works in tech. Or that my center of gravity is lower. Or that I played rugby for five years and thus can move the cart more efficiently than they can, and more safely because they were doing it straight up and relying on upper body strength.
But I'm just the little woman with a bad back, even if G used to call me "Muscles." This is the difference between being perceived as an equal vs a token Strong Woman (TM).
Shifting topics, Drew!! Talk to me about Pair Eyewear! I wonder if i can get insurance to pay for them. I've been curious since I started seeing ads for them.