In contrast, I already have loose plans in NC with our own Calli and her neighbor A, going to an art gallery with a colleague, mocktails and fries with my old boss, women's pro soccer with A, a trip to an art supply thrift store with a bellydance bud, a possible interview on local radio about my organization coupled with a possible dance party fundraiser, bellydance with someone from my old troupe, etc etc etc.

An old rugby friend invited me to be their guest at a pool this summer. Multiple people have offered to help me unpack/decorate and they actually mean it.

I know I will be missed here, and I will miss people and things, but the contrast is startling. And highly validating.

I kind of want to buy this house for Emmett and Matilda: [link]

It's on the same block as the Ice Cream Bar and a block from Zazie.

Those are 2 points very in the house's favor!

nobody wants to spend emotional energy on toxic relationships.

Totally agreed. This friend is not toxic; her way of communicating just suddenly annoys the crap out of me. Someone described it as "like being interviewed by an NPR reporter." So, it's not her; it's me, but also, it's her.

The other point of consensus is just that everybody is focused on an exercise program that's going to maintain functionality. We've all experienced and seen that if you're not moving your body regularly your range of possible activity begins to shrink in a hurry.

Lordy, yes. Pool tomorrow! And treadmill Thursday!

smonster, that is great to hear about how right this decision was for you... I love to hear all the plans and genuine offers to help and being enveloped in the community so easily again. That's why I moved back to this area, and why I hope never to leave again. And, yeah, an old boss once said, "The prize never chases," and you, my friend, are a prize for sure.

sj, I'm sorry, and good on F for being so compassionalte. That's some rockstar parenting shining through, there... just sayin'

Hec, yep, that house'd do.

Someone described it as "like being interviewed by an NPR reporter." So, it's not her; it's me, but also, it's her.

I think I set the bar too high at "toxic."

I'm seeing people tighten up their friend circles, drifting away from high maintenance relationships. People like beejay's friend who can be strident or inflexible, or smonster's friends who don't invest energy in maintaining the relationship or your friend whose positive traits are offset by a pretty aggravating one.

Happier with a smaller circle of people who have shown they will be there, eager for your company, fun to be with. Where the positives are abundant and the negatives minimal to nil.

One of my friends is ending a 15 y.o marriage because she couldn't tolerate her husband's Libertarian politics as they grew increasingly out of alignment with her progressive views.

(Also he's running for office and she's not willing to be the "wifey" in his campaign, especially since she doesn't support his stances.)

And, yeah, an old boss once said, "The prize never chases," and you, my friend, are a prize for sure.

Well, that is an excellent mantra and a lovely compliment. Thank you!!

I hear you, Hec. If the relationship doesn't spark joy and meaning, give it a Kondo "thank you for your service" and peace out.

Good for your friend getting divorced and refusing to be wifey.

(PS if anyone wants to see my bullet boobs the cleave is visible in a post from today on fb)

(PS if anyone wants to see my bullet boobs the cleave is visible in a post from today on fb)

Trying to think of the non-Boorish way to say, "I noticed that!"

Once again, I'm reading a piece on nuclear power (specifically Bill Gates attempt to create a new, cheaper, smaller reactor that's more cost effective) and wishing I could quiz Ginger, or Ed for that matter, on what the fuck is a "molten salt battery": [link]

A molten salt "battery" is a way of storing heat energy using, you guessed it, molten salt. You want to store energy? Heat up the salt. You want to extract energy? Use the hot salt to boil water and generate steam energy.

My opinion is that while nuclear energy is getting cheaper, it's not getting cheaper faster than renewable energy (wind/solar) + storage is getting cheaper. So it's cheaper to hook your wind and solar panels up to batteries (molten salt or otherwise) than it is to build even a small and cheap nuclear reactor. Nuclear's window of opportunity has closed.

John Oliver had a thing about salt batteries on Sunday. I am not enough of a chemistry expert to understand if they are a real viable alternative to lithium-ion (hopefully yes because lithium mining is literally the worst but also our current best path forward to getting off oil.)

(And by "not enough of a chemistry expert" I mean "Multiple better-educated Buffistas have pointed out that my caffeine molecule tattoo is missing a bond and chemically unstable")

Trying to think of the non-Boorish way to say, "I noticed that!"

Consider it achieved.

I’m chemically unstable if I don’t get my morning coffee!