Tom, that cycle is familiar to me as well. When you find methods to break the cycle and prevent recurrence I will be very interested to hear them.

I haven't heard the term "goblin mode" before, but it certainly resonates with me.

I think the way I broke the cycle was to get a cleaning person to do the floors, kitchen, and bathrooms. That way the day before she came I would have to frantically pick up so she could accomplish something. Seriously, I would be in panic mode before she arrived.

Laura’s way is my way except I stopped having a cleaner during the pandemic and really need to get back at it. That or having people over (which gets me to clean the living/dining/kitchen area but also just toss stuff randomly in my bedroom)

I am already goblin-inclined, and then add in another person who's also low-key depressed at every moment about not having a job, and who copes with that by hyper-focusing on things that are not cleaning. He is very good about the dishes and laundry, thankfully.

Ugh Tom I have so been there. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

I don’t know if ideas are helpful so ignore if not but some things from my claw back out process. Maybe try to find a couple of super easy small rituals like “I keep this one two foot area of the counter clear” or “while the coffee brews I pick up trash”. if that sort of thing works for you. The cleaning person thing definitely helps.

That’s all symptoms I think, but sometimes that’s a step.

I found Copperbadge’s Salty Pirates (National Clean Your Home month—NaClYoHo) helpful in getting from years of creeping mess and grime to a base level of clean. Every day there’s between 10 minutes and 2 hours of cleaning tasks scheduled around other things. If your day is full of other stuff, you do a 10 minute task, and you’re done with cleaning for the day. It’s surprisingly restful to look at the corner or closet of doom and think, “that is Saturday and Sunday—my 2-hour task days—and not my problem today”. Especially if the alternative has been looking there and thinking, “I’m such a slob. Why haven’t I taken care of that?” I haven’t taken care of it because it’s not on the schedule for today. I did today’s task and can spend the evening playing video games with No Guilt.

I expect you don’t have to wait until Nov. to do it, although I found the NaClYoHo tag on tumblr gave me a sense of community.

For things like doing the dishes (or at least getting them shut away in the washer) before bed, the concept of doing future me a solid has been surprisingly motivating. Turns out I’m kinda fond of future me, and every now and then I thank past me for helping.

I think the way I broke the cycle was to get a cleaning person to do the floors, kitchen, and bathrooms. That way the day before she came I would have to frantically pick up so she could accomplish something. Seriously, I would be in panic mode before she arrived.

Also, I had two cleaners. One that I had come in and do the really hardcore deep clean, and then I called someone ELSE and pretended that I had always been this clean. After that, I half assed tidied before they came every two weeks.

After that, I half assed tidied before they came every two weeks.

We were new enough to this place that I didn't have to call in a deep cleaner first, but, yes, same re: half-assed tidying every two weeks now, a.k.a. cleaning for the cleaners. I plan game nights here and such around their schedule.

It's the only thing that makes me declutter/tidy, and cleaners will be the last "want" (vs. "need") to leave the budget should we require massive belt tightening. Truly, I would feel right about moving them to the need level. Not even kidding.

Also, I had two cleaners. One that I had come in and do the really hardcore deep clean, and then I called someone ELSE and pretended that I had always been this clean.

This is honestly genius.

It really is.