I am already goblin-inclined, and then add in another person who's also low-key depressed at every moment about not having a job, and who copes with that by hyper-focusing on things that are not cleaning. He is very good about the dishes and laundry, thankfully.

Ugh Tom I have so been there. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

I don’t know if ideas are helpful so ignore if not but some things from my claw back out process. Maybe try to find a couple of super easy small rituals like “I keep this one two foot area of the counter clear” or “while the coffee brews I pick up trash”. if that sort of thing works for you. The cleaning person thing definitely helps.

That’s all symptoms I think, but sometimes that’s a step.

I found Copperbadge’s Salty Pirates (National Clean Your Home month—NaClYoHo) helpful in getting from years of creeping mess and grime to a base level of clean. Every day there’s between 10 minutes and 2 hours of cleaning tasks scheduled around other things. If your day is full of other stuff, you do a 10 minute task, and you’re done with cleaning for the day. It’s surprisingly restful to look at the corner or closet of doom and think, “that is Saturday and Sunday—my 2-hour task days—and not my problem today”. Especially if the alternative has been looking there and thinking, “I’m such a slob. Why haven’t I taken care of that?” I haven’t taken care of it because it’s not on the schedule for today. I did today’s task and can spend the evening playing video games with No Guilt.

I expect you don’t have to wait until Nov. to do it, although I found the NaClYoHo tag on tumblr gave me a sense of community.

For things like doing the dishes (or at least getting them shut away in the washer) before bed, the concept of doing future me a solid has been surprisingly motivating. Turns out I’m kinda fond of future me, and every now and then I thank past me for helping.

I think the way I broke the cycle was to get a cleaning person to do the floors, kitchen, and bathrooms. That way the day before she came I would have to frantically pick up so she could accomplish something. Seriously, I would be in panic mode before she arrived.

Also, I had two cleaners. One that I had come in and do the really hardcore deep clean, and then I called someone ELSE and pretended that I had always been this clean. After that, I half assed tidied before they came every two weeks.

After that, I half assed tidied before they came every two weeks.

We were new enough to this place that I didn't have to call in a deep cleaner first, but, yes, same re: half-assed tidying every two weeks now, a.k.a. cleaning for the cleaners. I plan game nights here and such around their schedule.

It's the only thing that makes me declutter/tidy, and cleaners will be the last "want" (vs. "need") to leave the budget should we require massive belt tightening. Truly, I would feel right about moving them to the need level. Not even kidding.

Also, I had two cleaners. One that I had come in and do the really hardcore deep clean, and then I called someone ELSE and pretended that I had always been this clean.

This is honestly genius.

It really is.

Also, I had two cleaners. One that I had come in and do the really hardcore deep clean, and then I called someone ELSE and pretended that I had always been this clean. After that, I half assed tidied before they came every two weeks.

Effing brilliant, Vortex. Brilliant.

I've just this morning taken down holiday cards around the doorway into my living room, so am rationalizing that it's not too late to post here. I've enjoyed having the cards up, & receiving them. I don't do anything with family for either Thanksgiving or Christmas, so cards are one traditional thing that's fun to send & receive. Thanks for cards from Aurelia, Jessica, Brenda, Calli, dcp, Erika, Jesse, JZ, Lisa H, Laura, Kat, flea, smonster, & Susan W.

I think of all of you often even though I'm not here on the board much and wish everyone well and I appreciate very much seeing the people who post on Facebook.

So, 2022.

I started a new job, working in a nursing home/rehab hospital. Still with the state, so my leave rolled over, but it too 7 months to do so. Not that I'm salty. No, wait. I'm really friggin salty.

Did Spring Break in MSP, got to visit a friend, kiddo got to play in snow, and we went to see Hadestown.

Joined the Repeat Pregnancy Loss club, which got me a referral to a clinic on Oahu, so I've now spent MUCH more time over there, mostly in morning till dinnertime chunks, with the exception of the solo trip I took for my birthday to see Frank Turner on the last show of his 50 states in 50 days tour.

Went through a few rounds of mildly-assisted trying to get pregnant (3x Clomid, 1x + IUI), and, of course, the month we took off (because we were on the mainland for Thanksgiving) appears to have done the trick. I'm due in August and far enough along that I'm starting to relax a little.

I'll be putting a post on FB soon. If we're friends over there and you, for any reason, do not want to be included in those updates, let me know, and I'll make sure you're not on the pregnancy-related posts. I've had a couple people I've had to mute for those reasons, so I'm making a special f-lock list.