ltc loves The Gashlycrumb Tinies.

That's my girl.

Ugh, juliana, that is an accumulation of awful, for sure. Finding a new doctor is hard and stressful, I hope a good one falls into your lap, somehow.

Ooh, Stella Luna! There’s a 25th anniversary edition.

I was going to ruminate about what comfort food I could make myself for Christmas, but I got a notice on my door that they're going to do apartment inspections, possibly as soon as Friday. So I need to call and ask when my building actually is going to be inspected (dude, giving me a building letter code that doesn't correspond to the actual building number is not helpful) and what the COVID-19 protocols are. Because the letter DID NOT SAY. ANYTHING. ABOUT COVID. Like, I assume that they will be masked and expect me to be masked, but some actual guidelines would be nice.

I recognize that they'll probably be in my apartment for 5-10 minutes, but I work from home and I am On-Call this week, I can't work from anywhere else what with the pandemic, I have no control over when I will be expected to respond urgently to an issue, and I can't allow a random maintenance person to see or hear anything confidential WHILE they are in my apartment. Also now I fucking have to clean, not that my apartment's a huge mess or anything, but I am Midwestern and this is What We Do.

Our PCP is semi-retiring to work with women's sex-related and trans-related physical issues, and also memory issues with the aging. All things she's vitally interested in, NSM general practice. While I am amazed and proud at her decision, it makes it necessary for H and I to find another PCP.

Which gives me the opportunity, after a five minute introduction to suss the direction of my initial visit, to fix the doctor with a pleasant but firm and direct gaze, and intone, "Let's pretend for the moment that I am a woman of this specific age, with these accrued conditions, and that I AM NOT FAT. Now, how would you advise me?" Hopefully if they are impelled by patient minute limits to adhere to 'arm fell off because FAT' diagnoses, a frank moment of arrest might buy me more realistic assessment.

They are inspecting my apartment on Friday. So I'll get a little extra stress this week, as a treat.

Edit: In an attempt to put a positive spin on this, at least they won't be coming on Monday, which I'm taking as a vacation day, so I won't have to set an alarm or, like, get dressed.

it took my mom TEN YEARS to be diagnosed with hypothyroidism (since she has a weird form)

Juliana, would you mind telling me what weird form of hypothyroidism your mom has? I've been fighting multiple doctors about this for 20 years. I have all the symptoms of hypothyroidism, but my numbers always come back "low but normal" and no one wants to pursue it further. It sucks that you have to play the doctor roulette game again. Totally understand why you're angry about it. May you quickly find a doctor who suits you!

Not wanting to spin the doctor roulette wheel again is why I haven't tried to find another therapist. Well, that and also I'm sick of telling the story of my life. I want to make a chart with bullet points I can just hand to the next one.

shrift, that's one of the worst aspects of living in an apartment, the darn inspections and maintenance visits. Hate having strangers coming into my place.

I found my current PCP by telling a nurse at my then-PCP's practice that I was not happy with the care I was getting from him. She told me I should be seeing Dr. A, in the same practice. I did, and the nurse was right, she's awesome.

Has anyone ever made Katharine Hepburn's brownie recipe as produced in New York Times Cooking? [link]

I only have cocoa powder on hand, not baking chocolate, so I will *have to* do a cocoa powder recipe, no matter what. I'm not going to make it with nuts, because we don't have any (and prefer brownies without nuts), but it seems so small (volume wise). My pan is either 8 x 8 or 9 x 9.

I'm wondering if I should double Kate's right off the top? Has anyone made these and doubled the recipe? (That seems like an awful lot of eggs and sugar, if doubled.)

If the paywall trips you up on the link, this is the recipe:

Ingredients:

½ cup cocoa
½ cup butter (1 stick)
2 eggs
1 cup sugar
¼ cup flour
1 cup chopped or broken-up walnuts or pecans
1 teaspoon vanilla
 Pinch of salt

Preparation

Heat oven to 325 degrees. Melt butter in saucepan with cocoa and stir until smooth. Remove from heat and allow to cool for a few minutes, then transfer to a large bowl.

Whisk in eggs, one at a time. Stir in vanilla.

In a separate bowl, combine sugar, flour, nuts and salt. Add to the cocoa-butter mixture. Stir until just combined.

Pour into a greased 8 x 8-inch-square pan. Bake 30 to 35 minutes. Do not overbake; the brownies should be gooey. Let cool, then cut into bars.

*have to* because I want brownies -- I don't have a brownie obligation.

I feel like, on some level, we ALL have a brownie obligation.

Well yes. I wasn't counting my brownie obligation to my soul.