Matt, at least it wasn't on the floor and you stepped in it ... best I can offer.

And 40 hours of homework a week strikes me as a lot ... isn't that a full-time job in and of itself?

I cannot imagine 40 hours of homework. I mean, I might have done that in college but it was still an unmanageable amount, really. For High School? Yikes.

40 hours is excessive even for an honors program. Also not good for kids. [link]

According to a 2014 survey, college students averaged 17 hours a week of homework. Now that's slackers as well as high performers. But still. 40 hours for a high school student seems unreasonable.

In some ways it's easier not to to turn in the work. Although I wasn't much for saying I did work when I didn't. I just flat out didn't do stuff, especially school projects. Or I would wait until the last minute, scramble something together, add some extras hoping for extra credit . But usually , in the moment, it was easier to just put off the stress and anxiety by not dealing with it and then just deal with it later.

I was dealing with undiagnosed ADHD and struggled with time management and how to actually do certain assignments (the actual steps and process to get it done) and no one knew so I was also trying to avoid "why are you struggling you are so smart, you can figure it out" conversations and frustrations. I still got the "you aren't living up to your potential" talks but that didn't have the added humiliation and frustration of doing something and failing and not being able to explain why or standing in front of the class to do a presentation.

I am depressed. I just got out of bed at 3:30 today. I did talk to my therapist on Wed and I thought things were ok but I am just .. I don't even know. I think the lockdown stuff is finally getting to me.

There is stuff I was ready to start tackling in therapy but then the pandemic happened. It's hard for me to even feel free to talk to my therapist in the telehealth sessions because the house isn't very well soundproofed and I don't want to be overheard talking about certain things. I guess I could go sit in my car. But I don't really want to do therapy at home or in my car because I can't really separate it and I already have a hard enough time with seeing things or being in certain places and not have every negative thing associated with looping in my head over and over.

So I don't know what to do.

I have an appointment with the meds manager on Feb 8th and i'll talk to her about this as well. Maybe there's something she can offer to help me.

Oh no, askye, I didn't even think of that part of telehealth therapy. Is there somewhere neutral you could park your car in it?

40 hours a week is more time than they told me to spend on homework in college!!

If anyone remembers my closet issue, I figured it out! I can hand a rod on S-hooks that are designed for flower pots or some shit.

If you need a laugh, here's a kitten unclear on the concept. Also, since sea shanties are now a thing, here's a space shanty.

oh no that poor kitten still needs a bottle.

That poor kitten! Aw.