Yay for birthday mimosas!

Of course, now I need a nap.

Happy birthday, Laura! Two mimosas on the beach and a nap sound amazing.

Yay birthday mimosas! I had Oj with some sparkling water in it, which is….minosa-esque? (It is not my birthday)

I guess what I really need is an extra helping of grace so that I can extend some grace to him and get through this to whatever might help him.

Maybe we can scrape together some grace and push it through the intertubes for you. But also: jesus fucking christ.

Shrift, barging in with the past 2.5 wk experience with stubborn ass independent parents

sarameg, wow that sucks so hard. I very much appreciate your advice. I've bookmarked your post and will be taking down notes to share with my siblings

Also, if you want a pulse/blood oximeter monitor

Thank you! I don't know if the one my mom got him buzzes at a certain threshold, but it also syncs to an app and the results from last night were pretty dire. I'll ask if the monitor has any functionality like the one your brother found while we keep trying to get him into a sleep study as soon as possible.

Happy birthday, Laura!

Feeling so much for shrift, and sarameg, and Teppy. I think no matter how old or together you are, caring for aging parents is just an emotional wallop. And so much harder in practical terms when your relationship with that parent was not great.

What Amy said. It adds a whole other level of complexity to be a decent human and take care of a parent who was not a decent human.

Happy birthday, Laura! Beach mimosas and a nap sound great.

My friend’s mom had Alzheimer’s, and honestly, she ended up lying a lot. Her mom would ask where her husband—my friend’s dad—was, and he’d died years ago. Instead of saying as much, and triggering a fresh round of grief each time, she’d ask, “Where do you think he might be?” And her mom would respond with something like, “He’s out fixing the car”, and my friend would just say, “Sounds likely,” and redirect the conversation. Apparently this is a technique signed off on by dementia professionals. If a lie is kinder or makes things easier, lie your ass off.

Happy birthday Laura.

Support and love to Steph, shrift, and Sara and any others on the parental care front.

to take care of us when we’re old without any help.

I have long term care insurance because of this. If I just die without needing it, it acts as a life insurance policy for Mac. I also plants move to a retirement community as soon as I can afford one that is continuous care. I’m hoping that will be at 60 or 65.

That's a good plan, msbelle. I have been trying to figure out how to deal with that as a childless person kind of in parallel with eyeing my parents currently very independent lifestyle and wondering how much longer it can last and not getting very far with either.