I am grateful that I didn't have to do late life care for my parents.

My dad didn't suffer dementia, but had a run of serious health issues including macular deterioration which made him functionally blind and dependent for his last couple years.

On the one hand, I didn't inherit his house when he died because he had remarried. On the other hand, his wife totally deserved it because she did everything taking care of him in his last years.

My niece, Crystal, was the sole caregiver of my sister during her cancer care, over three years. Which was incredibly difficult and draining as a single mother of two with a full time job.

I'm glad I've been able to give her a break since then and support her during a career change. (She's learning how to be a grant writer after 20 years of being a nurse.)

It strikes me that at the first F2F we all lined up to get our butts spanked, and now we're all lining up to give shrift hairpats.

We've evolved as a community.

My mom and brother tested positive for COVID, dad is back at the ER and my sister is now there to take charge.

We've evolved as a community

I appreciate the community support and collective wisdom, even if the wisdom is "this fucking sucks."

Ugh, shrift that is too much.

The most guilt I have about ltc being an only child is worrying about her having to take care of us when we’re old without any help. And we’re older parents to start with.

My dad has actually agreed to see a neuropsychiatrist for the hallucinations and delusions. I fully expected him to refuse, but my brother framed it as an appointment to manage his medications, and apparently he was fine with that. So I get to go to that appointment to be sure Dad is 100% truthful about the hallucination people and aliens. It's in 3 weeks, so god only knows what's going to happen between now and then.

In Tim news, now that he's allowed to take NSAIDs for his rheumatoid arthritis again, he's SO HAPPY. He took his first dose on Friday, and on Saturday he was so happy about the lack of pain that it was like he was on molly, not NSAIDs. (When I told him that, he said "Nah, molly just made me have this sudden clarity about mathematical equations." I said, "Oh my god, party drugs just turned you into a dork!" He replied "An *even bigger* dork!")

Steph, good luck with your dad’s appointment and yay for Tim’s pain management.

Parent~ma! I helped a lot with my dad, but my stepdad mostly took care of my mom. I'll love him forever for how lovingly he cared for her. We'll likely have to do a lot for my MIL soon. I have no idea if either of my sons would step up, but suspect they both would. I guess we'll find out.

So, I am trying to talk myself into spending a ridiculous amount of money to go on a cruise with my sisters. The biggest reason for is that I will be 70, and they will be 74 and 76, so really how much longer will we be able to enjoy this? The biggest reason against is that it is a ridiculous amount of money. I was going to cover the cruise, and one sister would have to do her airfare and the other her scooter rental, and they could get any incidentals. On the one hand, I am totally worth it, on the other, ridiculous amount of money.

In ten years, will you be happier to have the money or the experience?

Dana makes a great point! I’m very much not a cruise person so am biased but it seems like you could do a lowkey tropical vacation, renting a place, for less than a cruise would cost.

I've thought about that lisah, but it would have to be within driving distance for one sister who doesn't want to fly and will need a wheelchair most of the time. I thought about going to the Keys, but not a lot to do other than drink. (which works for me, but not them) Still trying to come up with vacation options. I'm going to see if I can talk her into flying to an all-inclusive type place. Surprisingly to me, the resorts are less accessible than the cruise ships, which have nice accessible cabins.

I am doing some more searching on resorts in case I can talk her into flying.

The biggest reason for is that I will be 70, and they will be 74 and 76, so really how much longer will we be able to enjoy this?

I will say that JZ and her mom had always dreamed of going to Hay-on-Wye, the book village in Wales. When we got the money but hadn't moved into the house yet, I pushed Jacqueline to take her mother then. They started to plan it but her mom backed out of it and they never got to go.

I've still got all these bookmarks for a literary tour of England that included all the bookstores around Covent Garden and where to go in Oxford, Edinborough and Glasgow.