I'm so sorry, Pix.

I'm sorry Pix. Hugs to you and your dad and Drew.

I'm sorry, Pix.

Gilda (my 18 yr old cat) is feeling bad so we need to see the vet tomorrow. She hasn't kept a meal down since last night and tonight she's just staying curled up on the bed. She's acting like I would with a stomach flu, but... 18 yr old cat. Here's hoping it's something identifiable and treatable. The receptionist was about to tell me they were booked up for the month until she saw Gilda's age in the records.

The barista at the coffee shop where my new writers' group meets just brought out two of their pet snakes to show to our group (since we're long-time regulars--the group itself isn't new, just new to me). I'm not generally a snake person, but that was still an unlooked-for bit of awesomeness and novelty for a random winter Tuesday. The larger one is named William Snakespeare.

Oh Pix. I’m so so sorry. What a hard place to be in.

Ooof, Pix. I'm holding you and yours in my heart. It is an excruciating roller-coaster and such a difficult task. I'm sorry.

In other post: Matt, happy to read the news on your mom.

Thanks to everyone who wrote nice things on my last post.

It gives me something to think about and hold onto when I'm On Call dealing with the conflict and feeling some kind of way about having to look at war crimes.

That is very difficult. Especially here, when you have to look at things from a very specific angle to avoid total despair and thinking it's all hopeless. There is a general guideline I find helpful, which goes as following: will focusing/looking at a thing help me to change anything about it? If the answer is no, I move on. It's not about ignoring the crimes or the news, it's about making sure I'll be able to do the little that I can do. The only place I found where I can be with the crimes and not to feel complete shut down is with metta meditations. Loving kindness to those around me, no matter and wherever they are, no matter in what situation. Helps to keep the heart unjaded. But that took time as well, I was pretty much in shock and grief for most of October.

I found a wonderful initiative a day after I wrote the previous post. There's a place that focuses on climate justice and climate resilience between Jordan, Israel and Palestine. Their graduates found a way to transfer funds directly to people in need in Gaza for emegncy shelter and emergency supplies, which is extremely difficult to do when Hamas confiscates whatever it can and so little arrives there as is. I was hesitant about donations to Gaza for that reason - while I recognize that there are a lot of people in need there, knowing that at least some donations go (even unintentionally) to those who are trying to kill me is not something that encourages donation. So I'm glad for this initiative, a more secure way to donate and to help very very very little bit with the damage that is done in my name. I'm thankful for those who built the trust infrastructure to do so.

I'm thankful for those who built the trust infrastructure to do so.

It helps to focus on the good people in this world.

Jesse, could you reassign my cards? I'm not going to be able to complete them.

I heard some pleasant news today. With everything else, good seemed to be more than this deserved, but it's still better than anything else I've seen (aside from the Ukrainian man who jumped into the freezing water to save a dog).