lisah, I'm so sorry. My condolences.

Pix, all of the ~mas to you, your dad, and Drew.

And thank you, everyone, for your words.

Having an office near Tel Aviv means I have coworkers there, as I've mentioned.

Do you know where are they located?

Holy shit, Ohio's republican governor just vetoed a bill that would have banned gender-affirming health care! I'm stunned. And so, so grateful. Wow!

That really was stunning. I thought I had misread the news alert. Nice to be surprised.

Pretty darn good news! I feel like he's come through with unexpectedly doing the right thing before? Don't remember what it was, though.

Unrelatedly, I am doing the dance of someone-else-answered-the-email-I-didn't-how-to-respond-to, hooray!

I hate this. Hospitals are always hard, but hospitals when my dad is out of his mind are a living hell for both of us. I'm not posting this on social media because I don't want to air this much private stuff, but I hate this so much. Dad can't go to the bathroom by himself. He's in a diaper. He can't feed himself without help. He doesn't know where he is and keeps being very worried about things that aren't in the here and now. He is incoherent — it's like when he had a stroke before; he can't find words and keeps making statements and asking about things that make no sense (worried he's lost his keys, obsessed with the blanket on the bed, asking for a fork or his shoes or wanting to call someone to find out where they are). He kept trying to get out of bed, so they moved him next to the nursing station and assigned a sitter to stay with him overnight. They gave him a sedative last night to try to get him to calm down and sleep, and it made him crazy and combative (I warned them a different sedative had this impact, but they tried a different type, and it's the same impact). He claims the overnight sitter was abusive, which I have no way to verify given how out of his mind he was (though I've reported it and spoken to the head nurse, and she's going to investigate it). He desperately wants to go home, but if he doesn't regain his cognition, that's never going to happen. I've dropped his dog off at a boarder for a week, spending money we don't have, because there's no friend who can take him more than a night or two, but if he doesn't get out of rehab and back home in the next week or so, I'm going to have to figure out another solution.

Sorry about the word vomit. I feel awful that I come on here and don't respond to everyone else before spewing my grief and anxiety all over the place.

Oh, honey, you go ahead and spew. That's so awful, I'm so sorry.

Thank you. It helps to have a place I don't have to filter myself. I just...if he doesn't come out of this brain fog, I don't know what to do. He has always said he would rather die than be out of his mind in diapers in a hospital, and that's exactly where he is right now. And yet he's not on the verge of death. I have no idea how long he will linger like this if he does't emerge from it.

I'm so sorry, Pix. {{hugs}}

Hospitals themselves contribute to delusions: it's the strange environment and also people are often dehydrated and may be suffering from bladder infections. I assume they already checked for a bladder infection.

You might see if there's a geriatric specialist who will take a look at his medications? Doctors tend to just add meds without re-evaluating the needs for the previous prescriptions, which can result in conflicts and unexpected interactions.

I hope you can get Dad home; once you do, maybe you can get him some help, or automatic reminders? There are automated systems for pill reminders and so forth.

{{Pix}} I was hoping his meds would have kicked back in. Did they get the MRI done? I know this is brutal for all.

Hospitals themselves contribute to delusions: it's the strange environment

Yeah. When my grandmother was in the hospital for several weeks one of the things she said to me was, "I don't like this hotel."