I know this is nothing compared to the Stupid thrown at POC all the live-long day, but I would give up a holiday wish to make people stop saying "I'm sorry," when I say something like "As a disabled person, I think that, maybe the whole Diaper POTUS theme, whether true or not, offends people who aren't Biden or Trump." Once in a while, well, I've been there, but more than that, American body-denial pisses me off and makes my life harder every fucking day, so I have thoughts, even if I mostly wish the two top candidates were different people on almost every level there is.(And, yeah, even as I write this, part of me wishes we'd spend next year fighting for, and over, something a bit more...perfect. Because I'm American and have mind-viruses, too. goddamn it) (to be clear, this is not where they say it. that would make sense. But I don't say these things to get back, I don't know, " Sorry you're struggling." Which kind of makes me want to say I'm not, at least not in the acute, heart-rending sense that most abled, white, Americans think struggle means. Although I do sometimes.) Just like I want to write "disability" on Facebook without a fundraising thing popping up.

Seconding all of this.

Cass that sounds very frustrating I hope you have at least one working toilet now!!

almost like, "Wait, you mean I can do anything I want on Christmas (within reason and considering a lot is closed)? WHAT?? This is unprecedented!"

I am really loving communal living with my friends. It’s my extrovert hearts desire. Today we all got up and went for a hike, then a few of us went shopping at this gay boy beach-ware store, for very Ken outfits, and ice cream. Then lots of pool and hot tub fun, now some chill downtime (some are reading, some napping, some puzzling) while waiting for dinner to be delivered. Then we are going to karaoke!

Laundry has been done! Hair has been dyed! Shower has been bleached after rinsing dye! Gingerbread bats have been baked!

I should probably sit down and rest now, huh?

We drove down to SJ to have dinner with my brother's family, but halfway there he texted that his FIL just tested positive. The rest of the family tested negative, so we kept on, but didn't go in the house and just ate lasagna outside on the patio.

P likes to do karaoke at Christmas, but there was no way I was doing karaoke in a house with 2 people who just got off a cruise ship.

(If anyone has seen Hell of a Cruise on Peacock, my middle brother is one of the docs they interview. I will never take a cruise, having seen that documentary.)

meara, that sounds heavenly.

Feeling similarly bleh today, now with added throat thing that could go either way. Wish me no sickness, please.

I plan to spend the day writing cards out to you lot today, so that's in keeping with the spirit of the holiday, while listening to my next installment of the Murderbot series.

Wishing a peaceful day to all.

I am really loving communal living with my friends. It’s my extrovert hearts desire.

A dream for this old extrovert hippie chick.

I will never take a cruise, having seen that documentary.

Oh no, I can't watch it because I do love a cruise.

I plan to spend the day writing cards out to you lot today, so that's in keeping with the spirit of the holiday

Mine have been sitting out on the table waiting for me, but now I have to wait until I can brain.

I am breathing easier today, and loving the weather that permits me to have all my windows open. Brendon just tested negative again. He is going to go and do Christmas with the family since he seems to have escaped the ick.

That's it for now. My ability to read or be on computer is still really limited.

Thanks, sj. I'm glad about the bonds we share, sometimes not always about the extent of it all. I used to think I wanted a cruise one day...the thought of going a bunch of places without having to arrange a bunch of transport seemed appealing, but even before the pandemic showed up, there were lots of stories of noroviruses(my personal kryptonite) sweeping through pretty hard. I think I'll pass. Even if they're kind of begging for our business and all that. Mellow day. Checking in with some of the folks at work and probably having one of my presents for dinner(Tamales) Healthy vibes for everyone that wants some.

Well, so far I haven't written anything, but I think I've decided I need to watch the modern Godzilla, King et al. MonsterVerse franchise.

Skipping and skimming to wish y'all who celebrate happy holidays, my weird internet fam. Thank you for sticking with Nilly and myself in the parallel war universe we found ourselves in in the past months.

Epic, great news! So happy for you.

Pix, a big hug. I'm sorry. And may ND's clients pay, on time.

It's about forgiveness, and recognizing that you can't lean on one person to meet all your needs at a time like this. And various people will rise to their strengths, but sometimes not overcome their weaknesses. But you love them for what they can give you and not fret about the disappointments.

I know this song and dance too. Much love.

Happy holidays, all. Lots of health and rest and good time wishes. I love you.

Oh, and fwiw, don't say to your Israeli colleagues joyfully "you had your holiday season, now it's our turn!" unless you'd like to see all of us in shock (that poor colleague. It was unintentionally and and I managed to salvage that quickly, but oh boy, now I know what image comes to my mind when someone says something about our recent holiday season).

Ooo I have been wanting to watch Skull Island. I keep forgetting about it. And I will take all the hugs!!

Drew, I hope all your clients get visited by a ghost tonight, preferably Carol Kane armed with a toaster, and then pay post-haste (with a self-imposed and generous late fee).

Attempting to Meara from memory - first off, meara, hell yes. Buffista Island will likely never happen but perhaps we can create little Golden Girl units around the country? Maybe with separate units, like amyth and Calli and their friends.

Erika and sj, I hear you. I haven’t seen any of that personally or heard it, but I will push back if I do.

David, that must have been wild to realize, that it was Emmett.

Laura, I’m so sorry. That sucks. I hope you have a mild case with no lasting effects.

Speaking of… I may have been exposed to COVID last night, so the low key plans I did have are off the table. I’m fine with it. It seems right. I would have had a good time but I’m happy to stay here and rest, hopefully putter my apartment and budget into better order than they are.

My feelings about Xmas this year are, at best, feeling a mild detached interest like an alien. At worst, having intrusive thoughts about smashing the fake presents at my psych’s office when I went to Spravato. I’m friendly with the coordinator and told her about it and she was like, “you know we have one of those axe-throwing places in town, right?”

And last night at Waffle House I sat next to a FoaF who is a therapist, and I told her about my year, and she gave me multiple hugs and her number and encouraged me to smash some cheap glassware from Dollar Tree.

I have quite a lot of anger, though it is dormant at this particular moment.

Anyway, I’ve stocked my bed with supplies for fun and productivity, and after a quick lunch I plan to nap.