Made it to SF. So tired.

I will be so happy to see you, minus-t! Expect a big and affectionate hug.

In-Laws arrived, so MiL, Sunny, spent part of the evening with us and retired early. Matilda kind of came and went as we all had big deli sandwiches for late lunch/early dinner.

Then I wound up making cocktails for Chris (JZ's brother) and TJ (the husband of Jacqueline's other brother, Lucas).

And we talked for several hours and it was heartfelt, honest and affecting. But I'm also more emotionally spent than I thought I'd be the night before.

Everything is costing more emotional energy than I expect at this point. I should have known that but I've been in Event Planning mode and then the reality of My Wife's Funeral keeps asserting itself.

Iris the nice lady at the church, found a big lot of purple flowers and has personally promised to supplant all the pink Gerbera daisies with purple. And I have confirmation that JZ's birthdate is officially corrected.

So. I am ready and eager to hug Tamara and Drew and Juliana and Sylvie and Lois and all Buffistae who can make it there tomorrow. But tomorrow is going to be hard.

I'm glad the service is early. I'm glad the service is relatively short. I'm glad the reception is on-site. And I will be eager to go home and decompress. For like a month...

When I walked into his hospital room today, he smiled and said "What a lovely surprise! Who told you?" Because of course he didn't expect M (my pseudo step-sister). to tell me because he's never wanted to worry me and I swear to G-D if I hear that phrase from Dad one more time I may start screaming and never stop.

OMFG! AHAHAHAHA. The fuck, Dad? I mean, for serious reals.

May the service go smoothly, Hec.

I hope the universe gives you all the time you need, David. It's the least it could do.

I will be thinking of you, David and Matilda, and JZ's family, and everybody who knew her. I hope everything proceeds smoothly, even for something we all wish did not have to happen.

Coincidentally, I am having a colonoscopy today, arranged a couple of months ago. (There was blood in a routine stool test, so). If I think of it as a memorial colonoscopy, it makes it a wee bit easier. If anyone could spare some medical-procedure-ma, I'd be vey grateful.

I will be thinking of you, David and Matilda, and JZ's family, and everbody who knew her. I hope everything proceeds smoothly, even for something we all wish did not have to happen.

Oh, Fiona, you said it so well.

And lots of good vibes for you today, for health and all-is-well and all good things.

And, um, timelies.

David, you're in my thoughts today. You and this place. So much love to you and Matilda and Emmett.

Fiona, procedure~ma.

And people, thank you so much for your support. These are awful and heartbreaking times here. I love y'all.

David, I'm holding you and Matilda and Emmett in my heart today. I love you.

Shir and Nilly, you are still — always — in my thoughts.

David, I'm holding you and Matilda and Emmett in my heart today. I love you.

Shir and Nilly, you are still — always — in my thoughts.

Steph said what is in my heart this morning.

Echoing both Steph and Laura. And hoping, David, that you can take some time when it's all over to let yourself process and rest.

I would like to return this Monday to sender and go back to bed.

What Steph said.

Dana, me too and also last night. ltc and I had a huge fight about stupid stuff. She was still mad this morning, and I didn't sleep at all.