I am, fully, not that nice. I try to help, which people are mainly blown away by, in my estimation, not because I make some enormous sacrifice, but because I strike people as a congenital help-ee, not a helper. But if I had been a young person having that thought, it might have been "Once my book becomes a movie," or some overblown shit like that, then I would. And I apologize for ever thinking that Matilda needed to toughen up--although I still think, if she doesn't manage to, it will be a tough road.(Maybe it always is anyway...don't know) But I am blown away by such a young person's inability to ignore the pain of somebody she knows so distantly...not sure even in my most delicate days if I quite pulled that off, and I really could not, to this day, share that thought with my father."I wanted to help," is not something he understands. ETA: Hec, when I thought that, it wasn't a critique of you as a parent...I don't know much about that side of life...a little from watching. I guess I'm not so sure that being very sensitive set me up well for anything. But it let M. be there for kids she doesn't know very well.

We rode on the ski lift to check out the glorious colors from the mountain top. Super beautiful. I talked myself into actually riding the thing. I kept my eyes open maybe half the time going up, mostly looking to the side rather than up or down. On the way down I kept them open most of the time. This is huge because I have serious height issues, but it was so pretty that I forced myself. I remember sharing this fear with Ed (DxM) and talking about hugging the back wall of the World Trade Center and not getting anywhere near the windows. So yeah, proud of myself.

She said, "I'd probably get lots of cats and some dogs, and write a lot of fic, and I'd convert the attic into a dorm space for trans teens who had been kicked out of their homes."

Yeah, I can see that. It sounds like Matilda inherited that gene.

I kept my eyes open maybe half the time going up, mostly looking to the side rather than up or down. On the way down I kept them open most of the time. This is huge because I have serious height issues, but it was so pretty that I forced myself. I remember sharing this fear with Ed (DxM) and talking about hugging the back wall of the World Trade Center and not getting anywhere near the windows. So yeah, proud of myself.

I'm proud of you too! So is Ed!

Yeah, I can see that. It sounds like Matilda inherited that gene.

Definitely, but with the added bonus of being much more outgoing and gregarious as a teen.

So, in the ongoing battle of David Vs. the Paperwork, I scored a double win today by Not Being Prompt.

Our financial advisor, Mike, had told me they would have to restructure all the trusts after Jacqueline's death, canceling credit cards and reissuing them after the new trusts were established etc. Major tsurris which would tie up our money for more than a month.

Which I didn't think was necessary because we had structured our Living Trust so that the surviving spouse just received everything automatically. There were no cut-outs or separate accounts or trusts or provisions. We were the two trustees and when one died, the survivor would become the sole trustee.

So I slow walked sending in JZ's death certificate (which would have triggered all the tumult as a matter of protocol) until after I had talked to my Estate Planning attorney, and he confirmed what I thought was true.

He contacted Mike and now everything stays the same, with the exception that my SSN is the one primarily associated with the account.

That just requires a minor bit of DocuSign and much less upheaval.

Relatedly, Mike also said that I needed to get one other Certificate of Trust from our CPA which she sent to me with instructions to have it notarized and sent to him.

Except, I got the actual cert and she had already notarized it and the document clearly doesn't have space for another signatory and was even altered from "signer(s)" to "signer." So I doubled checked on that and indeed I do not need to sign nor notarize it. Just send it in.

In short: Procrastination is your friend.

Well done with the procrastination and paperwork mastery. Yes, I really didn't have to do anything with accounts or the house after Steve died because everything was in both of our names.

My stepfather used to tell me that "Sometimes doing nothing is the best thing." Glad this was one of these.

So glad the procrastination worked out! And I'm glad you are able to help those girls and hope they land on their feet somewhere else soon. This certainly seems like JZ haunting y'all!

Way to brave the ski lift, Laura!

All I have wanted to do all day long is go back to bed, but have not done that, I have paid attention in meetings and made contributions to the taskforce that meets first thing tomorrow morning (I still have to put together my slide for that, ugh, taking a break first) so I feel very deserving of a cookie. I do not have a cookie. I might have a root. Somewhere.

Sends a virtual cookie to -t. It might not be quite so satisfying.

I do default to accepting cookies