I'm sorry, David. The memories will come back.
Sorry, Captain. I'm real sorry. I shoulda kept better care of her. Usually she lets me know when something's wrong. Maybe she did, I just wasn't paying attention...
Kaylee ,'Out Of Gas'
Natter 77: I miss my friends. I miss my enemies. I miss the people I talked to every day.
Off-topic discussion. Wanna talk about corsets, duct tape, butt kicking, or physics? This is the place. Detailed discussion of any current-season TV must be whitefonted.
Dana - Sep 10, 2023 5:08:27 pm PDT #25240 of 30000
"I'm useless alone." // "We're all useless alone. It's a good thing you're not alone."
Jesse - Sep 10, 2023 5:12:17 pm PDT #25241 of 30000
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be.
Yeah, that's one of the worst parts. But now when I dream about my father, he's well and whole.
erikaj - Sep 10, 2023 5:18:57 pm PDT #25242 of 30000
Always Anti-fascist!
You're the best, bunk. the world would legit be healthier if every familias had as committed a pater as you.(And not only cause I had a fight with mine in college that made my mom say "I'm sorry to tell you this, but I'm really monogamous...he really is your dad." and I was half-disappointed.) (we also joke that my not having Trudy's birthday is mom "hanging in for another week," though. Maybe we're disgusting?) But you'd be talking to a different person if hanging on lasted till November...the older I get, I think about that *more*, not less, as I anticipated. The memories will be there i think
erikaj - Sep 10, 2023 5:24:16 pm PDT #25243 of 30000
Always Anti-fascist!
cereal: Writing workshop started strong today.
Amy - Sep 10, 2023 5:30:25 pm PDT #25244 of 30000
Because books.
Hil, so glad you're okay!
These last 9 months are all so horribly vivid and block out access to the past. And I miss her.
Oh, David. But like Dana and Jesse said, the memories will come back. It's going to take some time to move past the past nine months, but the time will come when you see one of her favorite books, or hear a song you both loved, or walk past a landmark where you shared a specific moment, and the memories -- the good ones -- will be there.
Hil R. - Sep 10, 2023 7:46:57 pm PDT #25245 of 30000
Sometimes I think I might just move up to Vermont, open a bookstore or a vegan restaurant. Adam Schlesinger, z''l
Thanks, everyone. I'm feeling a lot better now, and the doctor had said that I could go back to work on Monday if I was feeling well enough, but I'm taking Monday off and going back on Wednesday. (I'll be answering emails and dealing with stuff like that from home on Monday and Tuesday, but I only teach MWF.)
Hil R. - Sep 10, 2023 8:22:46 pm PDT #25246 of 30000
Sometimes I think I might just move up to Vermont, open a bookstore or a vegan restaurant. Adam Schlesinger, z''l
As for what happened, long story short is I was feeling dizzy and nauseous and just generally wrong, so I called 911, and I had a heart attack. And, since my body can never do anything normally, I didn't have any of the usual signs of the kind of stuff that usually gradually develops over months or years before having a heart attack -- just one big blockage, but everything else looked fine. And once that was cleared, and I recovered from all the emergency stuff, I mostly felt fine. So they kept me for a few days, to make sure that everything stayed looking fine, and then let me go home, with instructions for follow-up appointments with a bunch of doctors and some new blood-thinners, to see if we can prevent this from happening again.
DavidS - Sep 10, 2023 8:31:58 pm PDT #25247 of 30000
"Look, son, if it's good enough for Shirley Bassey, it's good enough for you."
and I had a heart attack
Ack! Hil!
aurelia - Sep 10, 2023 9:58:06 pm PDT #25248 of 30000
All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story. Tell me a story.
! Yikes! I'm glad you called 911! And very glad you are doing better now.
Beverly - Sep 10, 2023 11:53:44 pm PDT #25249 of 30000
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.
Hil, I'm very glad you're doing better. Let that continue, please.
David your note that you're losing (have lost?) touch with who you and Jacqueline were before all the last few months rang a bell. We nursed my dad at home for eight years. And I really couldn't remember the man he had been all my life for a long, long time. It was impossible to mourn that man, and the fact that his death was a welcome release left me unable to mourn that man.
But the memories did come back, and with them a whole storm of loss and mourning. Life is stupid. But somehow we get around to nearly everything before we're done.
Love to you and Matilda and Emmett, and to your sister, her children and her close ones.