My grandfather was home under hospice care for his last six weeks. We had a some quiet conversations during that time, mostly focused on making sure his affairs were in order and my grandmother would be taken care of. At one point, he said to me, quietly, "I'm square with the world." He was a Freemason, so that term had extra meaning for him.

Hospice care is rare here - I only knew one person who went into hospice care before she passed. It sounds like a good way to go, if you get to choose.

Beekaytee, well said. As usual.

When the tapestry talk was happening, it reminded me of a poem that resonated especially with my dad. I asked him to send it to me; here it is.

By W. S. Merwin

Your absence has gone through me

Like thread through a needle.

Everything I do is stitched with its color.

"I'm square with the world." He was a Freemason, so that term had extra meaning for him.

The idea of being square resonates deeply.

By W. S. Merwin

Your absence has gone through me

Like thread through a needle.

Everything I do is stitched with its color.

Oh, I love that so much.

It sounds like a good way to go, if you get to choose.

It really is. A beautiful service when provided well. I am especially happy to see the profession of 'death doula' growing in our culture.

I love that Merwin poem, monster.

And beekaytee, I love your idea of a retreat center. I would help! I hate that funding and legalities make those things so hard to accomplish.

David, that's wild about the hospital, but I'm overwhelmingly glad JZ got to be at home.

dcp, forgot to say that "square with the world" sentiment really hit me. My grandfather was a Mason, and I actually have his Masonic bible.

"I'm square with the world."

Not a Mason or related to any that I know of, but this is where I am at. There is still a very long list of things I would like to accomplish or see happen, but I'm absolutely in that state of mind. It's a good place to be.

There is so much more I want to do...in particular, the retreat center I've dreamt about since 2009..

I'd like to see that happen.

I wasn't sure where my tiara was during the Zoom call. It was on my bookcase where if I had looked I would have found it.

I think I'm going to wear it the next time I do something creative. Alas my head is not great for hats but one day I will find one.

I got another job interview. A different Walmart than the one Monday. I asked if it was ok if I interviewed for multiple locations and they said yes. So hopefully I'll get a job out of this.

I've been trying to enjoy the limited work hours and time off...or at least appreciate it but it's been hard because there has been so much uncertainty surrounding it. And I just am ready for some certainty with employment.

I'm sure it will be easier being employed and having a schedule again. Job~ma sent.

That’s so tough, askye.

I wanna retreat. I want a Buffista retreat. Like a very chill f2f now that we are older.