It made me happy to think that according to Einstein she will have always been in this house and would always will be here. That it's only because I'm limited by human senses that I can only see forward on the timeline, only the cusp of time arriving and not backwards that I can't see her. But she's here. And we are here.

I love this a lot.

And the Haunting of [Zmayehm Housenumber Street Name] is the good kind of haunting, like a melody instead of, you know, a massacre.

I will not be okay in the sense that living with Jacqueline is an irreplaceable gift, that we are fully woven together, warp and woof, in a complex tapestry composed entirely of amusements and jokes and riffs and play. That this tapestry will be cut from the loom and the ends tied off and it will no longer be in the making but a finished thing. A beautiful piece but done, no longer in the act of creation.

This is so well said. You are in my thoughts all day. I hope you see this as a place you can express your grief and you’re not OKness. One of the beauties of this community is that I think we can be and show our real selves and I appreciate you sharing your real self

To hell with that no crying crap. I want people bawling their eyes out at my sendoff. There'll be plenty of good food, and stories and laughing are also encouraged, but tears are mandatory.

Well, that made me wail. Full on ugly cry.

hen I thought, I could get a beautiful funerary urn. Something Art Nouveau, or Arts and Crafts movement, and I could put the urn on her desk in the attic. And if people wanted to be with her they wouldn't have to go to a graveyard they could go sit at her desk.

And I thought, I could have a stack of post cards there and people could write a note to her. That would be a good way to be with her.

It made me happy to think that according to Einstein she will have always been in this house and would always will be here. That it's only because I'm limited by human senses that I can only see forward on the timeline, only the cusp of time arriving and not backwards that I can't see her. But she's here. And we are here.

I think this is perfect. One of the places my anger is focused is that JZ had so little time to enjoy this more comfortable phase of life. I like the thought of her being there.

I also mini-mearad on my phone, which is quite a feat for me.

The other day, I found a conversation we had about HIMYM and how quickly Ted moved on, that, in this new context, threatened to make me at least half a mess.

Art Nouveau Cookie jar is appealing as a final resting place: [link]

This one is random and funny, as COMM'd by billytea...

Matilda is watching Yellow Submarine for the first time:

The Beatles: All the lonely people - where do they all come from?

Matilda: They come from America!

The Beatles: Where do they all belong?

Matilda: JULY!

Happy Birthday meara and Jen!

To hell with that no crying crap. I want people bawling their eyes out at my sendoff. There'll be plenty of good food, and stories and laughing are also encouraged, but tears are mandatory.

JZ need have no fear in this regard.

Art Nouveau Cookie jar is appealing as a final resting place

That's lovely.

Art Nouveau Cookie jar

Possibly too small.

Cosigned on the dcp's 'too small' comment...in my experience.

Though, that is a beautiful container. And, given that what is left of us does not remotely look like fireplace ash, it would work!

For what it’s worth, I think about how people will remember me and my guess is that they’d bring up some kind of generosity (that’s the most common compliment I get) but honestly I’d SO much rather be remembered as funny! You don’t have to work at generosity, anyone can do it. But to be funny? Much rarer.

And yeah, it’s so wild that Jacqueline said those words and without even remembering her instructions, we all naturally honor them.

And David, ya got us for better or for worse tho I know it’s a small consolation. And people are very concerned with the after, and will be here for you.