Ugh. I spent an entire hour waiting in line at the pharmacy, only to find that the refill I requested earlier this week to be ready yesterday had actually not been made ready at all and they didn't have the full amount. Ridiculously they only had one guy working--and it seemed like every person there was some issue. Lots of people (including me) trying to get meds before a new year restarts deductibles and stuff. Nothing at all compared to JZ's problems but good grief.
Trying to work up the energy to make cookies to bring to a party tonight ("party" of five people). Also trying to have the energy to GO to the party since it doesn't start until 9PM. Yikes. That's usually closer to my BEDTIME.
I know this is stupid, but I keep thinking about Gus. I keep thinking about Gus, because long ago and far away, when he thought little enough of us to fake his death, JZ was one of the people who lost sleep over him on New Year's Eve. (I'll never not be angry he made that new mama feel that way.)
And I just keep thinking about the difference – the difference between us not really knowing what was going on with JZ's diagnosis, and his lameass "monkeybite."
I keep thinking about the fact that I have JZ's address (and some of you have been to Hec and JZ's place – or at least, the place before this place).
I keep thinking about meeting so many of you in person. I keep thinking about how real — how Velveteen Rabbit — we are to one another, even people like me, who only post here and then.
Anyhow, I'm glad you're real. I'm even glad the rough spots are real. Happy New Year's, dears. Love you. <3
The rough spots are how we become real. (And I have my Snoopy with me right now, and he is as Real as Real. He was there every minute of every night in the ER, and I know David understands he's real because when he asked what he should bring from home and I said "Snoopy," he knew why at once and he brought him right over.)
I love you, honey. I hope your pain meds work until you no longer need them.
Also thought, Gus? Ass you in the ear. This is community. You were accepted by ours and abused it. You will never, no matter what you do or have, achieve the love we have here. You're not just an unimportant man; you are a bad man.
Right there with ya Cindy. Heck, when I was in the ER and happened to be in SF, Hec came to see me!
I managed to make the cookies, but am not super impressed with them (my sister recommended the recipe, they’re chocolate espresso cookies but I want them to be chocolatier and espresso-ier both). Suppose I could start getting ready to walk to my friend’s house. Maybe put on clothes that match. Makeup? Suppose if I take some pictures I’d prefer that.
Topic Cindy, I keep thinking about Gus too recently. And jus how idiotic I was. But I am also a very reticent and shy person, so I have dodged poor Laura near me at Otter Lake. Maybe next year. But anyway, I don’t know how to tell the difference, but I feel like I know he was different
TCG and I spent the evening cooking for a small family gathering tomorrow. The first time we will have seen anyone in a couple weeks thanks to the flu. And now we’re watching Stranger Thing and having cocktails and cookies. It’s quiet but good.
I am making no attempt to stay up.
We’re playing the East Coast version of NYE. Definitely not making it to midnight in California. I woke up at 1:30 and couldn’t get back to sleep and the driving today included a lot of fog, blinding fog. Which is amazing in the desert if you aren’t driving but we were.
The rough spots are how we become real.
((Hugs everyone))
I can’t think of NYE without thinking of Gus and the NYE he faked his stupid fucking death. It’s over now but it hurt our group as well as brought us together. And that’s sad.
