Spent yesterday with my 14-YO niece, who plays hockey and is really really into dragons and isn't turning her schoolwork in and my brother can't figure out how to get her to do it. I get the strong sense she's at least tangentially in fandom but I didn't push her on it. Suspect she may be posting fanart somewhere, maybe? Maybe she's on Tumblr?

Anyway I did the aunt thing and talked a lot about how Keladry of Mindelin (a Tamora Pierce heroine) is great because she's not magic, and she becomes a hero because she does the work. And talked about how my career was pretty scattershot and while I didn't end up doing what I thought I would do at 14, I have a pretty good life and I like my job.

The real issue is that I suspect she has some executive functioning issues and my SIL just nags at her (which doesn't help), and my brother is pretty resistant to getting her tested or engaging with official channels on that. I know plenty of highly-function folks with ADHD, but you kind of have to make the effort to develop the tools, and I don't think he is.

That said I have no real business telling him how to parent. So instead I come here to mope about it.

She's a very nice kid, easy to please, clearly pretty smart, interested in things, and I hope she is able to figure out how to develop enough skills so that she can have a decent life and support herself, even if it's not what her parents would have wanted.

Anyway now I have her cell # so I will probably be using that a bit to send her memes and support on the DL.

I did the aunt thing

You get to be the cool aunt. Make the most of it, for both of you.

Aww yay getting to be the cool aunt even if hard to watch a loved one struggle and not be able to actually do much.

Am staying with a friend for a few days here and she’s at the end of her rope—-her kid is having a LOT of big feels (divorce, other mom peaced out to another state, older cousin moved in to go to school (because she’s from a country where things are v precarious right now) and kiddo already had a lot of issues (likely adhd possibly others) and add a couple pandemic years of difficult parenting….it’s a mess. Kid screams and cries and hits and destroys stuff and friend is exhausted and at her wits end. It’s tough (and I can only help so much—can entertain kid some and talk to her but when she gets mad she’s also mad I’m here, so)

Good morning/timelies, all. Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!

Delightful time on our trip. I feel braggy on FB, but, fuck it; it's beautiful.

Everyone is off on a hike, but I was meditating-ish by a waterfall out back, and there's no signal there, so no hike for me. I'm not sad about it, but I'm sure it is providing yet more beauty.

We leave for the (Pacific) beach later today. Right now we're in the mountains at my friend's good friend's place (they are not here), and it is so beautifully designed, that everywhere you walk or sit is a new, lovely vista.

And a river runs so close to it, that there's an omnipresent susseration from the flow.

And there are ducks and chickens wandering around. I mean, they live here.

This is one of the loveliest places I've been in my life.

Coincidentally, "Omnipresent Susseration" is the title of Enya's comeback album.

"Omnipresent Susseration"

Describes some of my favorite ASMR tracks, helps me ignore my tinnitus.

Enya's comeback album

Cruel tease. I will go listen to "Paint the Sky With Stars" to console myself.

Maybe I heard that somewhere. But now I GET it. (Oh, I guess not, ha!)

Pacific Ocean does that, too, as it turns out.

I can't remember that last time I had a vacation this vacation-y.

I also am looking forward to seeing kids' costumes in FB tonight... but, THB, most of the kids I used to see pix of in costume are grow now.

But not all! You know who you are, people...

dcp, ASMR helps me fall asleep, too.

Not quite as irrelevantly as I first thought: I'm vaguely toying with making my next vacation a 30-day US Rail Pass on Amtrak - 10 segments in 30 days for $500. I'm thinking I will do a giant loop-de-loop of sorts - here to Chicago because I have never taken that route, Chicago to NYC, bop down to Baltimore because why not, onwards to NOLA because I kinda have to, then San Antonio because I hear that Riverwalk is nice, LA since I really like Union Station, up to Seattle to hit that restaurant I missed going to during the F2F (if it's still there), down to Portland to see my sister and whoever else is around, and back home. It's about 10 days on the train, so about 20 days to sight see or whatever in the various destinations.

Checking my PTO accrual, I'll be able to take 4 or so weeks off by maybe next August but definitely next November, although do I want to be travelling in November? And if I'm looking that far off, might as well see when Mardi Gras is in 2024: 2/13/24, two days after my 55th birthday, so that is starting to look like something I have to do whether it is part of this great train venture or on its own...

Oh, man, I should probably be thinking about eclipses. Hm. That's April 2024.