My brother and SiL are in town for a pre-planned visit. Unfortunately, he and I are spending a lot of time and energy wrangling Dad, because his hallucinations are worse than ever and he's demanding his guns back. I sent a message to the geriatrician about his worsening state, and we'll go from there.

It is really, really hard to hold some sympathy for him because he's clearly unwell, because at the same time, he's such a complete asshole. He treats my brother horribly, constantly insults and berates him and belittles his choice to be a therapist. And even though Dad treats me better than that ("better" being relative), I don't want to have anything to do with someone who treats my brother like that. It's unacceptable. Plus he also said to my brother (in the context of a conversation about how he physically abused our mother while they were married) that "sometimes words don't work and you have to get physical to make them understand."

I don't want that motherfucker in my life anymore, and I'm so fucking drained dealing with this. I'm ready to jump on a plane and go anywhere but here.

Oh, Tep, I'm so sorry. How absolutely shitty and intolerable.

Travel~ma, lisah!

I'm so sorry, Teppy. It is hard enough to deal with this type of illness with someone who has been good to you and treasured, but it adds a whole other level of misery when complicated this way. I wish there were some advice that would make it easier. This too shall pass?

The outfit that tried to kill me.

MurderPants so stylish!

that "sometimes words don't work and you have to get physical to make them understand."

Do you really have to keep attending to him? It seems like somebody that toxic and abusive is a person you could put up more boundaries with. I don't know what's viable, but he's not a loving father. He's basically a full time asshole, now with exciting hallucinations.

Wishing you smooth flight -ma, lisah!

This too shall pass?

It will, one way or the other. The meds he had in the hospital (in intravenous form, pretty high doses) did stop the hallucinations. When he was discharged, he was prescribed the same med (Zyprexa), but at a really low dose. My brother obviously knows a lot about meds for mental health issues, and he thinks a much higher dose will help Dad. I truly hope so, because Dad is an asshole, but I don't wish any kind of illness on him.

Yikes JenP! Glad you're okay. And have a cute if murderous outfit.

I found out late yesterday the stone cottage had already sold before I even saw the listing, but the sellers left it up in case things fell through before closing. Oh well.

that "sometimes words don't work and you have to get physical to make them understand."

Do you really have to keep attending to him? It seems like somebody that toxic and abusive is a person you could put up more boundaries with. I don't know what's viable, but he's not a loving father. He's basically a full time asshole, now with exciting hallucinations.

Ohio has a "filial responsibility" law — it's a first-degree misdemeanor if a person fails to provide adequate support for an aged or infirm parent unable to provide his or her own support. I don't know how enforced it is in practice, but in theory it sounds like a way to force adult children to care for their abusers. So that's fun.

JenP I hate when cute clothes end up being harmful, this has happened to me before (not falling that bad but being tripped up or getting something caught on a door).

Lisah- I hope you get to Scotland asap and enjoy the trip.

Steph - would you feel like you could consult an elder care lawyer to see what you and your brother's actual responsibilities would be and to find out how you could minimize your contact with your dad and for it be legal?

Speaking of lawyers I have to go by the lawyer's office today to sign paperwork for the worker's comp lawyer so they can get medical records. We are still waiting on medical records from the neurologist.

I have a therapy appointment at 1 and I'll be sitting in my car venting about this whole Covid situation...I'm still feeling ok and planning on testing in the morning before work to make sure I'm negative.

Continued negative~ma, askye!

Holy shit, Steph, that sounds harrowing.