Ha ha, the big thing I had scheduled today has been pushed to August. Not my problem today!

I have the day off. Woke up and felt fairly rested. I don't know what I'm going to do but I'm going to try and enjoy having some mental clarity and not exhaustion for awhile. Yesterday wasn't so bad at work so I'm feeling better about what I can and can't do in terms of work. Finally got a response from the neurologist's office, no word from the neurologist.

Sheryl - I had some things I want to say but I'm having trouble getting them all organized. I don't know good resources for parents of autistic kids but I did find some info on Steve Silberman's website that includes books and then resources by autistic people. Silberman himself isn't autistic but he wrote Neurotribes which is a really good book.

While you are waiting for evaluation you could try some things as if Mr S is autistic and go from there, if it helps then that's good. A big thing is sensory issues and sensory input/regulation and I can't stress enough how connected emotions and sensory issues can be connected. If I'm emotionally out of sorts then my sensory issues get worse and if I'm getting sensory overload then it makes me more emotional. And then when I'm really upset or close to sensory overload I get really sensitive. Clothes that are normally comfortable might feel scratchy, even dim lights might be a problem, things like that.There are obvious things like- bright lights, sounds , tactile things that can cause problems. I know a lot of autistic people can be bothered by sounds that other people either don't hear or just filter out (like a light bulb humming, or a fridge running or something like that). So part of what you could do is try to figure out if there are things that bother Mr S and figure out ways to make it easier -- sunglasses, ear protection to block out sound, etc.

But it's also important to have good sensory input as well. I have been falling down on that for myself some lately so I'm trying to do better.

I really like pressure so I have a really heavy weighted blanket. And lately when I get home from work I go and lie down in the cool bedroom, in the dark, have the weighted blanket piled on my legs (for some reason I carry a lot more tension in my legs and hips), and sometimes have ear protection on or even have eye mask. If Penny will cooperate and cuddle either one me or next to me so I can pet her and hear or feel her purr that's even better.

I also realized that due to bad weather and being tired I haven't been pacing as much. Pacing is my main stim and I will pace inside, but it's kind of weird to do it in the house with people around and so I'll pace in the backyard. I didn't realize how much I needed it until the other day.

So being destructive and lashing out can happen when things get too much. It used to happen to me when I was a kid, well even as an adult but not in the past 6 years or so. I got what I called "black rages" where I would just feel all this anger and rage and it would feel like black inky energy radiating out of my pores and I would scream, sometimes trash my room, find small things to destroy, do some forms of self harm. Looking back I realize it was just constantly being put in situations where my senses were overwhelmed and my emotions and not knowing how to handle any of it.

Going to new places can be hard, talking to people, even people I knew was always fraught and difficult and usually reinforced the feeling of being "wrong". So then I'd be anxious and then it would make my senses more heightened, which would increase my agitation ..so it was just a cycle. It still can be a cycle.

Abrupt transitions are really hard as well and can end up with distress etc. So I have learned to build in transition time to things and ask for it. When plans change because of emergencies and stuff it's still hard.

This is very rambly sorry. I hope that you can get an evaluation and get a therapist or some support for you and your family.

Raise your hand if you love reading askye's rambles.

So being destructive and lashing out can happen when things get too much.

My sensory issues have just gotten worse as I've gotten older, and there are some times it's difficult to keep myself calm if I'm in a situation I can't leave (the dentist office is sensory hell of the worst kind). And I'm an adult with the ability to recognize what's going on; I can't imagine how bad sensory overload is for a kid who can't put words to what's going on.

Abrupt transitions are really hard as well and can end up with distress etc. So I have learned to build in transition time to things and ask for it. When plans change because of emergencies and stuff it's still hard.

This is 100% me, too. And, again, it has to be so much harder for a kid who knows that something is distressing but they can't explain why.

WTAF NYC

(tl;dr the NYC OEM released a bizarre PSA video yesterday of what to do in the case of a nuclear attack, followed immediately by a press release saying this is just a generally helpful thing to know and definitely isn't related to Ukraine in any way and we don't understand why people are asking us so many questions OMG relax.)

WTAF NYC

Needs a gif of Captain America straddling a chair, saying, "So there's been a thermonuclear attack . . . "

And, yeah, "This just seems good to know. No reason." is not at all reassuring.

Among the things you don't want to suddenly find yourself asking: Where did all this blood come from?

Apparently while washing dishes after lunch I inadvertently rubbed away the scab from a tiny scratch by kitten claws on my forearm, and am now bleeding like a stuck pig. I don't even recall there being any blood when it was first made, just a little bump from the skin being broken!

If my fellow alley cat feeder hasn't settled on "Fluffy" as his name, I'm going to suggest Dim Mak.

Needs a gif of Captain America straddling a chair, saying, "So there's been a thermonuclear attack . . . "

Ahahaha that is exactly the tone.

Thank you Karl.

Steph, I've had to learn a lot of coping mechanisms and ways to work around things. Whenever it was I went and bought another set of noise protection ear muffs -- these [link] -- and before we were out of the store I had them on because I needed relief. They are bulky and I can't sleep on my side with them so I end up propping myself up like royalty.

Oh I got this eye mask from Amazon [link] and I really like it. Totally blocks out the light and the way the eye cup is it doesn't press against your eyes. However the claps to adjust the band sometimes snags on my hair.

Those are more at home ways to deal with either at home sounds or recover from other sounds.

I also really like the Paced Breathing app for anxiety control. You can set up different lengths to hold your breath, inhale, exhale etc and I find that it works really well to calm me down before something....going to the dentist, or the grocery store (when I was first in Brevard , NC and needed all the help).

I have a dentist playlist on Spotify that I haven't had to use in a while but it has a mix of music that is heavy on drums or bass or anything that would cancel out the sound of whatever.

For transitions-- some people use visual timers to help keep track of when things will change. I know a lot of people talk about setting alarms to help remember things, but I just use the timer on my phone. I don't do it as much right now but I would do things like... I have to leave the house in 2 hours so I'd set a timer for 45 mins to do whatever I'm doing ...then when it was over I'd set it for 15 mins.. (that would be kind of my transition time). Then set it for 30 mins to get ready , and then have the rest of the time to be ready to go and just do things that won't take up too much attention.

I didn't do it every day or exactly like that all the time but it feels different than -I need to be out the door at 3 pm so I'm going to set an alarm at 2 pm to get ready.

I just use the timer on my phone. I don't do it as much right now but I would do things like... I have to leave the house in 2 hours so I'd set a timer for 45 mins to do whatever I'm doing

I do that! Go me, with one management strategy! Mostly it's unexpected transitions that I have a very hard time with, and then Tim (or whoever) has to deal with me being surly, bug-eyed, and minimally communicative.

Sensory stuff is almost entirely tactile -- fabrics (which are a thing I can control when it's my own clothes and furniture), temperature, and how many people are in closecloseclose proximity to me (which is, I think, what governs my hug thing -- if there's only a handful of people, I'm fine hugging [unless someone creeps me out, but that's an entirely different thing], but if there are too many people, my reaction is "touch me and I will rip out your pancreas with my teeth, which will probably end our friendship").

I'm a little wonky with smells* and sound, but more often than not when I get hypersensitive to smells and sound it usually means a migraine is about to start.

*(Except I hate hate hate mint, and it is very unfortunate that the most common type of gum people chew is mint, and then they get all up in my space and I want to hurl myself out a window. But I get that that's a me thing, not a them thing. People like mint, so, whatever. But ick.)