Grief on top of grief on top of all the other emotional exhaustion. I want to hug all my loved ones, and can't even do that!

Technically the mask mandate in SF (and California) ended on February 1, but nobody's unmasking here. Maybe when the surge has completely fallen off. Maybe not.

It's like the fucking Mirrorverse of Texas. Fuck! Texas!!!

Hil, all my love and condolences.

I thought the mask mandate was through 2/15. Maybe that's just at my office or gym or something. I get so many of these notices and I don't pay that much attention.

So in random good things Worker's Comp called me. The nurse manager person I was probably supposed to hear from back in December. She JUST GOT the referral to call me , at some point. I don't remember, I wasn't taking notes , but recently. Like maybe this week??

Anyway there's only ONE neurologist in the area who will do worker's comp and she's not in SC she's in Asheville or Hendersonville. I'm going to Hendersonville bc it's closer and I'm not dealing with traffic to Asheville. Well whoever drives me isn't.

She apologized for all the problems I've been having after I told her the brief version.

Oh and the neurologist requires pre payment for every appointment by worker's comp (I guess she's gotten screwed and learned her lesson) of course that payment has to be authorized by the dude who doesn't call me back or reply to my emails.

Maybe, maybe I'll be able to see a doctor about this ..well I doubt I'll get an appointment by Feb 19 (which would be 3 months since the accident) but probably before March 19. Maybe.. my math is right, Feb 19 is 3 months right?

General and unspecific~ma to all. A lot has been going on, and I'm sorry that everything is so difficult.

I think I am starting to really feel the impact of working on mostly Holocaust related materials since February 2020 (and lately it has been materials that are about the 30's-70's here, so other complicated stuff and wars and a Nakba). Sure, it's a privilege to be working on these stuff, but I'm also burnt out from reading about these subjects and processing them for researchers in a bloody pandemic. And I also need to find a different job, in general. The salary is very low. We are entering the third year of no-raises-policy (due to political shit, there was no state budget in the years 2019-2021 and we are funded by the state budget), so the very modest raise I got in 2018 lost half of its worth by now with the state of the economy. And I got a shiny MA, so really, I can do much better. Need to work on that. The bummer is that even with all of what I just wrote above - I still really love my job. It'll be very hard to quit.

I do hope that you find something that will be rewarding both personally, and to your budget.

We’re returning to the office 2/28. Boo.

Dang, my little department is discussing it over text and all 3 of them are like “and I wanted to move within the next year”. They are all abandoning me! I just, you know, don’t want to have to get dressed every day.

Timelies all!

Mr. S would just.not.go.to.sleep last night. Finally fell asleep around 2. He apparently had a good day at school(He took his meds, which makes all the difference.). Fell asleep right after dinner.

Gary leaves tomorrow for a business trip, and doesn't get back until Tuesday night. sigh...

askye, I meant to recommend this to you: the podcast Ologies (which is pretty great although sometimes too much) did an episode on Concussions last month: [link]

Alie Ward fell down the stairs just before Christmas and because she's a maniac she ended up doing a whole episode about concussions. It's really informative and helpful, I thought, speaking as someone who never got a concussion.

I'm so sorry to everyone who is suffering losses. It all sucks.

Me, it's book club night and we've gone back to Zoom, but I ordered fish and chips from the place around the corner and I opened a bottle of wine. Woo. Hoo.